Friday, December 07, 2007

Jerks and Yellow Bunnies

G'day, mates! Welcome to Monkeesims. I figured it would be nice to start the post off with a little pseudo-Australian. Actually, you can't hear me do my impression of an Australian greeting, but I met a guy named Matt a few years ago from the "land down under", and he told me I actually had it down pretty good. It was when I tried to say any other phrases in "Aussie" that things started to get ugly. Man, my neck has been out of place for like three days now, and it kills. Working a job where you have to sit upright for 9 hours a day doesn't make it any easier. I went to a chiropractor for the first time in my life a few months ago, and he popped me back into place in like four or five spots. I'm not going through that again, though…

We've been visiting with Clarence and Amy Andrews for the past few days, and there's a couple more yet to come. If you'll recall, Clarence is on the political career track now, and despite having maxed out his skill points, he just couldn't get those last couple promotions. Going to work in a great mood didn't seem to be helping. Perhaps it's the fact that his friend, Jack Daniels, is also on the political track, and they're both in a race for the same promotion. Only one thing is certain, and that's that the pressure of the whole thing was starting to get to Clarence. He was already a little on edge when "Justin the Jerk" came strolling casually past his house…trouble seemed inevitable.

Clarence: "Hey…aren't you the guy who poked my wife?"

Oh…he's of course referring to the altercation between Justin and Amy at "Marty's" several posts ago. Get your mind out of the gutter. Now, if there's one thing that our past posts have taught us, it's that Justin the Jerk has thus far proven invincible, having won every fight I've ever seen him in with other sims (which has been a lot, since he's the official neighborhood "telescope poker"). Well, Clarence doesn't like jerks, and he'd been poked by Justin a few times before (as you can imagine, since he's obsessed with the telescope). They hadn't been in an official fight yet, and Clarence decided it was time to remedy that oversight.

Not the best way to greet people passing by, but...

Maybe the reason Clarence and Justin never got into it was because Justin knew that Clarence was pretty buff, having received ample body points from being a werewolf. One important rule of being a bully is never pick on someone who's tougher than you. Well, Justin didn't have much choice in the matter this time, since Clarence picked the fight. Amy was in the hot tub with Kerrie Bradshaw, the mail carrier, and they quickly jumped out to watch the brawl. As usual, there was a lot of hooting and hollering, and when the dust settled, everyone beheld an awesome sight…

Clarence: "You went down like a sack of potatoes, I'll tell you that…"

There was much rejoicing over Clarence's victory, and I'm not just talking about amongst the sims. I'd been wondering for a long time if anyone was ever going to beat that creep, and this renewed my confidence. The kind of funny thing about all of this is that in order to have the chance to interact and fight Justin, Clarence had to first greet him as he passed by, which essentially identifies someone as a guest in your house. After Clarence and Amy had laughed at Justin a bit, they headed inside to celebrate the victory, and basically forgot about him. Well, despite the somewhat unpleasant initial greeting, Justin stuck around to make the most of the facilities.

Justin: "We'll see who laughs when I pee in their hot tub..."

Amy didn't have much interest in the hot tub anymore at the moment, even less with Justin in there (there's only so much you can discuss with someone you've only ever poked or shoved before). She decided it was time to head downtown for a bit, despite the fact that it was almost midnight. My sims have the most screwed up sleep schedules ever despite my best efforts to avoid that, so the actual time of day rarely matters to them unless they're calling someone for something. There was a new public pool open to replace the abandoned one Shaggy Rogers lives at, and Amy decided to check it out and get in a little midnight swim.

The good news is, there's not even anyone living in the men's bathroom here...

One might question the logic of hopping in a car to drive all the way to a public swimming pool in the middle of the night when Amy has a pool in her own backyard. Well, don't bother - there is no logic to it. I guess though that since you can't really invite people to come swim at your house at midnight, but they'll show up at community lots, there's the company factor, but still…you never know who's done what at those public pools. Despite the late night outing, Amy was bright eyed and bushy tailed the following morning. Clarence, on the other hand, was a major grouch. You'd think he'd still be flying high after his victory over Justin, but maybe Justin really did pee in the hot tub and it upset Clarence…or maybe having fought the night before just put Clarence in a fighting mood, because shortly after coming home from work the next day, Clarence got into a brawl with the old lady who seats people at most of the restaurants in town.

Clarence: "I'll teach you to give me the seats right by the bathroom!"

Not that anyone is keeping score, but Clarence won the fight…and then the one that came after it. Geez, man. Notice in that fight picture above that Amy is hooting and cheering Clarence on. You'd think she'd have responded a little differently to Clarence fighting some old woman in their living room, but those outgoing type sims love a good fight, and it really doesn't matter who's doing the fighting. Amy decided Clarence might need a chance to unwind a little bit, since he was getting downright testy by this point. Now for me, the best way to unwind is to have total peace and quiet and a chance to chill and collect my thoughts. Amy figured the opposite was what Clarence needed, and invited a whole bunch of folks over to the house for a party. Marty and Kitty Wilson came, and they wound up dancing and blocking the front door for hours on end. I don't think they ever even went in the house.

Alfred: "Alright…who am I going to have to bite to get out of here?!"

Strange people. Seeing Marty at the party reminded Amy that she hadn't been to his club in a while, a gross oversight on her part. She dug a dress out of her dresser and gussied up a bit, but of course, that stick in the mud Clarence didn't feel like going out (probably because it was like 2am, but geez…what a bum). Well, that's never stopped Amy before. I think I've probably sent her out solo more than together with Clarence, which is just fine with him, because every friend she makes still counts in his favor when it comes to progressing in his career. She was at "Marty's" dancing until the following morning, which is not unusual. Unusual is Jimmy Thunder and his ridiculous huge nose.

Jimmy: "Everybody do the 'Amy'..."

Hnnnn…actually, looking at their positioning in that picture, that caption sounds kind of dirty. Well, while Amy was out living it up constantly, Clarence hung around the house being bored and grouchy…his own fault, I might add. The Andrews family has plenty of stuff to do and plenty of ways to relax, he just wasn't allowing himself to take advantage of them. Now, I'm not one to neglect my sims, but somehow I failed to notice just how bad off Clarence was getting in the social department…I guess I was busy paying attention to sims who actually enjoyed having fun. Whatever the case, something put a big dent in Clarence's social meter, and he soon found himself the recipient of unwanted house guest…

Clarence: "I'll bet it's that dang greeter lady in disguise!"

Some people might find the social bunny to be cute or funny. Me, it freaks the crap out of me. I've only ever seen it twice before, once when Matthew Martin had a close brush with a malfunctioning Noodle Soother, and another time when a sim with major social issues was swimming in a pool, there was a blue rabbit there with him. I strongly dislike the social bunny, though, and it just stands there all quietly and menacingly, taunting my sims. Clarence had no interest in having a new floppy-eared friend, though. I have no idea what most people do with the social bunny when it arrives, but Clarence knew just what he was going to do with his…

Okay, we get it, Clarence…you like to fight...

Clarence tried to tell others of the bunny, but naturally, his attempts were met with some skepticism (even with all the other weird stuff that's considered normal in the sim neighborhood). The idea of some freak running around in a bunny costume wasn't so hard to accept, but most people had issues with the whole "invisible" part. Clarence decided that there was only one way to convince everyone that he wasn't nuts, and that was to paint the bunny. Because we all know that people may imagine things that aren't really there, but there's no WAY they'd ever paint something that didn't really exist. Sheesh, Clarence, maybe you need to work on your logic skills just a little bit more…

Clarence: "I shall call it 'Believe in the Bunny'…"

Well, Clarence tried fighting the bunny. He tried grossing out the bunny. He tried insulting and annoying the bunny. He made it cry several times over, but it just kept on hanging around. He even resorted to intentionally starting a barbecue fire in the hopes of incinerating the bunny, but apparently the bunny is fireproof. How many times can I say bunny in one paragraph? Bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny, bunny. Doesn't even sound like a word anymore. Despite his painting of said bunny, and his numerous interactions with his invisible pal, folks remained convinced Clarence was just going a little loopy. If he wanted to convince them he wasn't nuts, he should have just shown them the little dolls being juggled around in mid air by seemingly nothing…

Now wait a minute…where did he get those dolls anyway?"

Well, the good news is that after heaping enough abuse on the bunny, Clarence got enough social points back to make the damn thing go away. Apparently fighting with an invisible rabbit is a great way to boost your social need. Just remember that the next time you're feeling all alone and a freaky costumed rabbit comes to visit you. Oh, and they're fireproof, so don't bother trying to burn them to death. Next up, Amy undergoes a little bit of a change of circumstance in her life. It might be Monday before I get a chance to post again, but since when does anyone have me on a deadline? See you then!


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