Gnomes For Sale

Had a pretty good day yesterday, all things considered. I went home early because my wife was sick and I wasn't feeling the greatest, and I got to get away from work for a little bit. Luckily, I was able to post the last installment of MonkeeSims before I left, since work is where I write/post the entries for this blog. For that matter, all of the first person shooter games I've designed (see the links at my "switchboard" page) were designed while at work as well...during breaks and lunch, of course. :-)

Well, it's official - the Jacksons have run out of money...at least money they can afford to spend if they still want to eat without having to sell their furniture. While I could just use the money cheat and zap them up some funds, nobody has ever done that for me before, so why should they have it so easy? Sorry, guys, but if you want more money, you're just going to have to earn it.

Well, the family members took different approaches to the financial crisis they were experiencing. Stu Miller happened by the Jackson house for the first time (that I can recall, at least), and Steve was quick to greet him...probably because he looked like someone with money, and he hoped to strike up a friendship based upon that.

Steve: "Say, you're rich and famous...can I borrow a couple of bucks?"

However, Stu was in no hurry to lend anyone any money, especially since that feature doesn't exist in the game to begin with. "Moon Dawg", however, came up with a brilliant solution - he would use his immense mechanical skills to fashion gnomes to sell for the outrageous price of $100 each. In no time, he had his gnome stand set up out in the front yard.

Steve: "Are you sure you can't spare anything...?"

Stu got tired of Steve's nagging about money (he gets enough of that back home with the rest of the Miller family), and headed inside. Finding nothing suitable to eat lying around the house, he headed for the rec room, where there was a blue potion sitting on the chemistry set, unguarded. Okay...Stu ought to lose a couple of logic points just for thinking about drinking that...

Stu: "Hmmm...an unmarked vial of strange looking blue liquid...I think I'll drink it!"

Well, the potion apparently didn't satisfy Stu's needs...though for his sake, he should just be glad it wasn't some sort of toxic mixture or powerful laxative. Luckily, Leon headed to the kitchen and whipped up some real food before Steve could mix up any more potions, or Stu could use himself as a human guinea pig again.

Stu: "What does he mean, 'what's with the glasses'? They're cool, that's what!"

Of course, "Moon Dawg" was too busy to be concerned by silly things like food. He was still out on the front lawn, chiseling away at his blocks of wood, and cranking out a vast quantity of high quality (but still overpriced) lawn gnomes. It's funny how so many of those gnomes get sold, and yet, you can't find them on any of the lawns of any of the other houses in the MonkeeSim neighborhood. We can only assume they're being given away as gifts to people out of town...or folks just take them home to kick them and watch them explode. Either way, "Moon Dawg" is raking in the dough.

Kareem: "Another gnome, another hundred bucks...!"

After a while, Keri Miller came wandering by, apparently in search of her wayward husband, Stu, who was no doubt supposed to be doing something at home and was instead using the Jackson place as a hideout. She walked right past the gnome stand, apparently having had her fill of gnomes back at the Miller house. She must not realize that these are high quality gnomes, not the cheap things Stu makes back home...

Keri: "No, I really don't need any more gnomes, but that windmill is kind of nice..."

Well, Stu was busy elsewhere, clogging the toilet in the bathroom. If nothing else, it gave "Moon Dawg" a chance to put all that mechanical skill to another use (albeit a kind of gross one), while eliminating the need for a costly repairman. Another great money making/saving idea! "Moon Dawg" is quite the financial wiz, even if he does say so himself.

Kareem: "I told you, you gotta' jiggle the handle, mon!"

While that excitement was taking place, a miracle occurred - Brooke (you remember Leon's Brooke, right?) actually accepted one of Leon's invitations to visit, rather than brushing him off with that flimsy work excuse. Leon was nowhere to be found when she finally showed up, but there was a huge collection of animals waiting at the door to greet her. Too bad none of them were trained to do so...

Brooke: "I must have the wrong place...is this Dr. Doolittle's house?"

Someone eventually showed her in, and then went back to whatever they were doing beforehand. Nice, Leon...spend all that time bugging Brooke to come over, and once she finally does, ignore her completely. Meanwhile, Steve was determined to help solve the family financial crisis through the use of science, and was toiling away with the chemistry set. Don't laugh...he does actually succeed in his mad quest...though not in this post.

Everybody's always doing something...

Well, Steve's efforts weren't entirely necessary at this point, as "Gnomes by Moon Dawg" was doing rather well for itself. "Moon Dawg" even had an obsessed fan of his gnome stand, who was busy snapping pictures of his hero in action. Hey...when you're trying to make a buck, any publicity is good publicity, right? Who says you have to do something memorable to be famous?

Kareem: "Make sure you get my good side, mon..."

Well, thanks to the family pulling together, the family can afford to eat and pay the bills a little while longer, so long as they don't blow any money on parties or inviting guests over for a while. Things are back to normal...for the moment. Next post, we'll see what happens when the romance bug bites the Jackson family big time...nobody is safe! (except for "Moon Dawg", who's content to occupy himself with his gnome craft). Don't miss the next post, whatever you do!