The Great Outdoors: Part 1

All is right with the world these past few days. I've actually been getting enough sleep, I haven't been the victim of any recent random suckiness, I've more or less accomplished all the things I set out to do the past few days. Yes, all is well, unless you view it as the calm before the storm or something morbid like that. I prefer to think of it as me having slogged through enough crap that I'm finally getting a break, and I'm enjoying it while it lasts...

Considering how I've had the Vacation expansion pack on my PC longer than all the rest of them, and how the Miller family was the first family I featured on this blog, you'd think I would have sent the family to Vacation island a long time ago. Well, I haven't, but I think that's to their advantage, since there are some little extras that come from going on vacation with the other expansions installed. Anyway...

The Millers were getting pretty bored of hanging around the house, as I mentioned before. Not since their last visit to the animal shelter had they been out of the house as a family, probably because some of them just can't seem to get along. To celebrate Stu's recent Studio Town success, the family decided that, whether they all got along or not, it was time for a nice, long vacation. Of course, family members arguing during long drives is a staple of any real vacation, but I guess one advantage of the Sims is being able to escape such realities. Anyhow, the big day came, and everyone was excited and eager to go...maybe a little too eager...

Bobby: "I'm not sure where we're going, Deana, but I'm pretty sure that outfit's not going to work...!"

The gang wasn't sure where they wanted to head first, what with so many different options (and their natural inability to make decisions). The gang settled on heading off to the woodland areas, since they were neither too hot or too cold...they were just right! If anyone is expecting a cabin with three bears living in it to be the next part of this story, sorry to disappoint. Maybe Claire the Bear will show up, but that's the most we can hope for. At any rate, the family arrived at their chosen destination, and seemed sort of at a loss as to what to do next.

Bobby: "So, are we, like, supposed to start having fun now or something?"

Fun was indeed the purpose of the vacation, and though it was slow going in the beginning, the gang started to get the hang of it eventually (if you lived in the Miller house, you'd probably forget how to have fun pretty quickly too). Bobby and Stu headed over to the water balloon "arena" and started settling their differences. Peter and Keri headed over to the rental shack and waited to rent stuff while Zack messed around. Deana stood around by herself and talked to herself...or maybe she's talking to Skunkbear...it's hard to tell.

Stu: "Not the suit! Don't hit the suit!"

Peter eventually got his hands on a metal detector. It just wouldn't be a family vacation if at least one of the sims didn't get one of those darn detectors and spend hours ignoring the rest of the family in search of buried junk. He wasn't entirely alone, though, because everyone's favorite pest, Archie the Archer, started following him around. Peter's search was very thorough...in addition to checking most of the grassy area, he also scanned the street and the dock for treasure. Maybe he was searching for loose nails or fish hooks to help avoid injuries to unsuspecting cars or people.

Peter: "Aaarrr, matey...I bet ya' there be treasure hidden under this here dock!"

One thing I always find somewhat funny about sims visiting the wooded vacation spots is the fact that there is no special change of clothes to go with roughing it in the outdoors. I mean, some normal outfits sort of make sense still for camping, like Peter's grungy Star Wars shirt and jeans, but Stu's suit looked wildly out of place most of the time. Actually, Deana and Stu were both pretty overdressed for the occasion. They weren't alone, though, as a couple showed up who was equally overdressed. on a side note, this same pair continuously followed the Millers around to their other destinations that will be featured later. How obnoxious...

Suit Dude: "Where's the buffet? Where's the air conditioned clubhouse? What is this place?"

Everybody pretty much wound up doing their own thing for the most part. While it's nice to be independent, when all those separate activities cost money separately, it can get a little expensive after a while. I guess though that the only free stuff to do was throw water balloons and sit around the campfire, and you can only do that for so long (though I guess the one sort of follows the other if you need a quick way to dry off). Stu found entertainment in the form of a picnic basket he rented from Zack's shack. That Stu is so down to earth...

Stu: "What the...ech! I told him no mayo, darn it!"

Elsewhere, Keri and Bobby were spending some quality time together fishing off the dock. You may think that implies that they were learning to get along, but no such luck. Actually, they were disagreeing with one another just as much as usual, which I can never quite figure out. They share at least two or three interests in common, but they always choose to discuss the ones the other doesn't care for. Whatever floats their boat. Bobby caught some grass from in the lake, while Keri took the more direct route, and caught grass right off the shore. If they didn't spend so much time arguing, Bobby might be able to teach Keri a thing or two about fishing (like how to aim for the water).

Keri: "Blech! Whose idea was it to rough it in the mountains, anyway?"

With all the fun and frolicking the family was doing (or whatever you want to call it), it wasn't long before they started to get a little tired. Stu and Deana were quick to take advantage of the wooden recliners around the lake. Of course, given that it was night time by the time they sat in them, that's a great way to become mosquito bait. Of course, seeing as how Stu is almost entirely covered up except for some of his face, maybe he was hoping Deana would be the easy target and draw the heat away from him. Such a gentleman. I like how the lady in the blue shirt is somehow walking through Deana's legs...

Stu: "Aahhh...nothing like kicking back and soaking up the...uh...moonlight?"

While the human family members were off taking care of themselves, Mr. Scruffers and Skunkbear were busy running wild all over the camp site. Funnily enough, they actually spent more time getting to know each other out on the open range than they did when they were forcibly penned up together. I'm sure it was some sort of protest on their part. Or maybe they just realize that when there are wild animals lurking nearby, cats need to stick together. Their solution was to hide out in the bath house...and pee on the floor...

Mr. Scruffers: "It wasn't me! It's the shower leaking!"

Of course, no visit to the great outdoors is complete without sitting around by the campfire. Apparently, the only person aware of this fact was Stu. Being left alone didn't prevent him from roasting marshmallows over and over again, though that was about all he could do. Once again, Stu's suit looks a little out of place around the campfire, but I guess since there's no such thing as grass stains on your knees or smoke stink absorbed into clothes in the sim world, it doesn't really matter. If there is, I can't tell, and if Stu doesn't care, neither do I.

Stu sits around the campfire with all of his friends...

Yes, though it was well into the night, the family refused to call it an evening. Part of this might have been because of the fact that they rarely have so much fun. Another part probably had to do with the fact that nobody had paid for the tent rentals, and they couldn't have slept if they wanted to (thanks to the magical inability to pass out on the ground at vacation sites). Peter took advantage of his perpetual sleepless state by renting a bow and arrow and demonstrating some mad skillz on the archery range. It never ceases to amaze me how these sims can be experts at activities the first time they try them...

Peter: "This would be so much easier if I could actually see what I'm shooting at..."

Yes, the great outdoors, full of the wonders of discovery. Peter discovered some old boots during his time with the metal detector. Bobby and Keri discovered more old boots while using their rented fishing poles. Stu discovered a sandwich in the picnic basket he rented. Not all of the discoveries cost money, though. Bobby made a fabulous find, and he didn't have to pay any money or look any further than the porta-potties at the edge of the camp site...

Bobby: "Hey, guys! Check out all this free toilet paper!"

Eventually, the fun and games came to an end, and the gang had to call it an evening. They thought about leaving the camp site and going to a resort with a nice hotel, but in the end, it was decided that the tents were the only real way to camp. The guys were crammed into one tent, and the girls into the other to ensure there was no monkey business and everyone actually slept. Of course, good luck trying to sleep in tents set up practically in the middle of the lake during the height of mosquito season...

Stu: "What the...alright...whoever left the flaps open this time is sleeping in the dog house!"

Yes, life is grand when you let yourself become one with nature. Of course, some experiences are better than others, and some of them serve as a reminder to us of how good things actually are during our day to day lives (ie. eating food charred over a campfire as opposed to cooked on a stove, sleeping in a flimsy, drafty tent on the hard ground compared to a nice, warm bed). The first phase of our vacation with the Millers has come to an end, but fear not...there are two more still on the way, followed by unrelated weirdness further down the road. Don't miss it! Until then...