Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Unlikely Amigos

*Yawn* I'm tired. And it smells live vanilla in here. And I'm probably one of a handful of losers actually back at work the day after Christmas (I know, I know…there were people working during the holidays who had it worse than me, but still…). This was an interesting Christmas to say the least - my wife and I didn't buy gifts for anyone, not even each other, which is a first for us. My wife loves Christmas, because it's her time of the year to give the most to other folks, but you can't really do that without money. Dang you, Uncle Sam, you greedy bastard! If you live outside the United States (or the state I live in for that matter) consider yourself lucky at this moment. I don't know who you've got reaching in your pockets if you don't live here, but they can't be as greedy as Uncle Sam (now, don't go deporting me or anything, I'm thankful to be here usually, and not some kind of disgruntled US hater). Anyway, that was an unexpected rant. Merry day after Christmas!

I had a scary moment this holiday season. See, I have several Sims 2 expansions installed, but the newest, Seasons, I had borrowed from someone who owns Bon Voyage and didn't need the discs. Well, they had to reinstall this vacation, and they live in a different city. In other words, I had to give the discs back, and had no way to access my sims *sniff*. Perhaps it was meant to be, though, because the temptation to spend time simming when I could be hanging with my wife over the vacation was never there. Speaking of hanging, and speaking of wives, let's get on with our Sim post for the day. If you'll think way, way back, you'll remember Tommy Wolf finally dumped Rinoa Hartman after finally ending their rocky relationship. Last we saw Tommy, he'd found love elsewhere and married Allyn Thomason. Well, let's check in on Tommy and Allyn and see how things are going...

Allyn: "I'm either pregnant, or this décor is making me violently ill!"

I might have mentioned it before, but usually when my sims get hitched, I let them try for a baby once or twice, and if it takes, fine, if not, no biggie. Most of the sims who do this though get pregnant on the first try, and Allyn was no exception obviously. Despite being a werewolf and generally being an incredible slob (which is part of the whole werewolf thing, since cleanliness points decay when a sim contracts lycanthropy), Tommy was a very supportive husband, and was always glad to clean the toilet after every morning sickness incident…especially since there was that slight chance that living in a house with shingles inside and outside might have been contributing to Allyn's feelings of illness. In other words, she was sick with a case of the shingles (thank you, I'm here all week!).

Tommy: "I'm just thankful to have the opportunity to earn all these cleaning points!"

Tommy's shack isn't exactly the ideal place to hang out and have fun, but for some odd reason, when it was just Tommy, and later, Tommy and Alfred, that never seemed to be a problem. I guess it's not if all you care to do is sit around and eat and watch TV, which was just fine with Alfred and Tommy. The house no longer had a fireplace, because Tommy tore it out to build he and Allyn's room, so there was one less form of amusement. Allyn was pretty resourceful, though, and she didn't have too much trouble finding things to do. She seemed to have a fascination with Tommy's telescope (don't be dirty, you know what I mean), but rather than use it to spy on Alfred and his castle, she used it to look around town at random boring stuff…and of course, spy on Justin the Jerk, like everyone else.

Allyn: "How come you have to use a telescope to find non-ugly furniture around here?"

I recently learned a little bit about what assigns a sim to be the one who gets spied on all the time, so it makes a little more sense that Justin the Jerk is the only one who ever gets looked at even though his house is nowhere near most of the sims who do the looking. I feel a little sorry for him now too since he's enemies with almost every sim in town as a result of always being the "poker", but he's not a sim I actually play as or anything, so it could be worse. Believe it or not, though, it wasn't until Allyn first spied on Justin that anyone thought to just run inside the house and lock the door to spare themselves the abuse, and it worked like a charm.

Justin: "Please! Unlock the door so I can come poke you!"

That sounds kind of vulgar too, but you know what I mean (maybe it's just me with the gutter brain today). Anyway, thinking "outside the box" (in this case, the box refers to Tommy's ugly box-shaped dwelling) opened Allyn up to yet another form of entertainment, one that also served a useful purpose - fishing. Tommy's entire front yard is mostly swampy looking pond, yet, I can barely remember him doing any fishing himself. For some odd reason, it seems almost every time I visit Tommy's house, it's winter, so that has a little to do with it (I confess I probably haven't spent an entire set of "sim seasons" playing the house, but look around inside - would you?). Well, having Allyn come around had melted the ice off Tommy's heart (awwww) along with the ice on the pond, so she took full advantage of that…

Allyn: "I hope I don't get pulled in…who knows what's in that pond?"

I'm not sure if this is true of all non-player sims generated by the game, but when Tommy married Allyn, he was surprised to discover that she had absolutely no skills in any category, nor did she have any talent badges, and she only brought one simoleon to the family (I'm not joking). It's a good thing he wasn't wanting to marry her for her talent or money, although that means he was just marrying her for looks and charm, which sounds a tad shallow. Well, Tommy may be a little shallow, but his pond definitely isn't, and despite having only worms to fish with, Allyn began reeling in some pretty decent fish. This is a very good thing, considering it only takes one plate of bass to fill a sim up vs. four or five helpings of pizza, which is what Tommy normally eats. Well, those bachelor days are over, pal…get used to it!

Allyn: "Ooh…a mutant pond bass! Now if only I knew how to cook!"

Having a pregnant wife who liked to spy on the neighbors and fish for mutant pond bass really put things into perspective for Tommy. It seemed like ages since he'd last parted ways with Rinoa, and even longer since that whole jealous mess with Leon Jackson, and indeed, it had been a really long time. Really, besides disagreeing over who Rinoa was dating (which even confused me from time to time), Tommy and Leon never really had a problem with each. In fact, they're really very similar in a lot of ways. Tommy decided it was time to put all that ugliness behind him, and invited Leon and his pal Moon Dawg over to hang out. Since their mutual rage toward one another had long ago subsided, the invitation was accepted.

Tommy: "Moon Dawg, you say? Is that anything like a werewolf?"

Unlike his last invite to Rinoa where he savaged her and turned her into a werewolf, there was no hidden agenda behind Tommy's invite to Leon, he just wanted to make it clear that there would be no slapping or drink throwing or brawls out back if they ever crossed paths in public in the future (notice nobody said there would be an end to belching in each other's faces, since they seem to find that funny). Most of the time, when Leon hangs out at home, he spends most of this time dancing to the radio out on his ship deck. Getting out to visit Tommy was a nice change from that, because instead of dancing to a radio on a deck, he was able to dance to a radio on a swampy front yard. Very few people invite Leon to their house, especially if they have a girl, so for him, every little invite is a special one…

Tommy: "…just look out for that cactus behind you, dude..."

For some truly bizarre reason, despite having an entire harbor at their disposal, Leon and Moon Dawg rarely do much fishing. I can't figure out why it is, but the game won't let them cast where there are obvious visible fish within grabbing distance, it just says they are "too far away" (every so often, when Leon or Moon Dawg fish on their own, they magically find a spot from which it can be done, but I can't). Anyway, the point is that Moon Dawg still found the idea of fishing amusing, and was quick to pull out his pole from who knows where and start angling for his very own mutant swamp fish. Like Tommy, Leon and Moon Dawg aren't known for their healthy eating habits, and a little fish would go a long way. Moon Dawg caught mostly boots, because as we all know, fish ponds of all shapes and sizes are a hub for boot disposal in the Monkeesim neighborhood.

Moon Dawg: "You never know! Those boots might be good eatin'!"

My former college roommate is an idiot. I spent years trying to track him down and now enjoy the privilege of being on his crappy forward list and nothing more. Just had to get that out there (and so glad I went to all that trouble). Anyway, fishing and dancing eventually got old, and everyone crammed themselves into Tommy's shack, which was looking smaller than ever since he added walls for a new room where the fireplace used to be. Luckily, there was still room for the old leather couch and junky TV, which were still the main indoor attraction. Ah, if that couch could talk…never mind…I wouldn't want to hear what it had to say (I have the feeling its perspective would be very "one-sided").

Allyn: "If I didn't live with a werewolf, I'd probably find these guys a little bit strange..."

Tommy Wolf is one of those sims that makes all the chicks swoon when he walks by, much like Leon Jackson, though to a slightly lesser extent, and Tommy and Leon also share a love for dancing to the radio endlessly (and probably not just because the radio is one of the only things to do at both their homes). What Tommy and Moon Dawg share in common is a love for discussing the paranormal, and they were quick to discover this. Moon Dawg had gone off on a serious alien kick since buying that copy of "Beyond Belief", and while he'd yet to actually encounter any aliens, he considered himself something of an expert on the subject.

Tommy: "Uh…you want to BE an alien? I can't help you there, bro!"

While Tommy does have an interest in the paranormal, he doesn't have a lot of experience with it besides being a werewolf. Well, okay, he did come back from the dead that one time and he did live with a vampire for a while, and has seen ghosts at other people's houses, but other than THAT, no real experience. He did have one thing that Moon Dawg wanted pretty badly, though, and that was the ability to turn folks into werewolves. Unfortunately, where vampires have the ability to politely hypnotize their victims then put a quick bite on them, werewolves have to rely on savaging any would-be future werewolves, which takes its toll on the whole friendship thing. But Moon Dawg knew what he wanted, and Tommy wasn't one to deny a curious sim his dream…

Leon: "Guys! I can't see OR hear with all that dust and racket!"

Obviously, the transformation took, since it never fails, and Moon Dawg was introduced to the wonderful world of werewolves (sounds like a National Geographic segment a little). Luckily for him, Tommy was keenly aware of the special needs of being a werewolf, and had pizza on hand for those post-transformation fits of insane hunger. If you've never handled a sim werewolf before, believe me when I say that the dip in hunger is no small matter - it caused the death of Felmer McNugget when he first transformed, and his ghost has been a "starved werewolf" ever since. Between the pizza and a few witty jokes from Tommy, the damage the whole savaging thing had caused was soon repaired, and Tommy turned his attention to Allyn.

Allyn: "I don't mind you giving me a backrub, just don't use your nails!"

With all the fun and excitement during Leon and Moon Dawg's visit, Tommy had barely taken time to notice that Allyn had begun to show the fact that she was preggers. It isn't that hard to notice in the sim world, since the first little bulge comes with a change of clothes, but maybe it's those dark sunglasses Tommy always wears. Leon actually seemed to take note of the fact, despite his glasses, because he started babbling on about pacifiers and baby stuff during his conversations. I have no idea what he was saying, but I am pretty sure Tommy and Allyn shouldn't be taking any baby advice from a guy who lives at the address "Pimp Harbor" on a ship called the "Love Boat", and who rarely has relationships that last longer than a Mento.

Tommy: "You think she's big now…pretty soon she'll be the size of a beach ball!"

By the time the whole visit was over, and Tommy, Moon Dawg, and Leon were best buds. This was a nice change of fortune for Leon, since it seemed lately the collection of people he could call "friends" barely qualified as a collection anymore (especially where the women folk were concerned). Tommy had other things to think about besides beating people up while visiting public places - he had a little Wolf on the way, and converting his crappy dump into a suitable den for a baby would take a little doing. There would be time enough for that down the road, though. For the Jacksons, events are about to take a turn for the dramatic…and weird. Join us manana for a heaping helping of bizarrity and dramaticness!


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