The Great Outdoors: Part 3

Well, it didn't take quite as long this time for me to post again, though I'm basing that statement on when I am actually starting to write this post, not when it's finished (sometimes there's a gap of a day or two, sometimes it's done within the same day). Being a writer at heart, I didn't realize how I'd missed doing the "commentary" for these posts until I'd taken a break from it for a while. Anyway, on to the good stuff...

It's time for the final installment of the Miller vacation, something that some of you are probably really looking forward to (not the third installment so much as the vacation posts being over). The Millers have done the forest and the snow resorts, so all that remains is the beach, of course. And so, having had more than enough snow, the family piled into the vacation cruiser, and was whisked away to the beach. As usual, they were overdressed for the environment.

Peter: "If we just stand here dressed like this, I'll bet we can sweat off a few pounds!"
Yes, the Millers are geniuses, the whole lot of them. Eventually, by nightfall, they'd figured out that the prudent thing to do would be to change into fewer clothes and get out of the direct sunlight for a bit (since they were all behaving like they'd spent way too much time in the sun to begin with). As usual, the gang was attracted to things that they could have done at home for free, in this case the hot tub. However, the resort staff were smart enough to incorporate a model that actually accommodated more than two people, which would have been a handy thing for the family to own back home, having five hot tub crazy adults and all.

Peter: "Well, I'll be! A four person hot tub...what will they think of next?"
It looked like the entire beach visit was going to consist of lounging in the hot tub, and I was getting a little bored watching the family sitting there chatting, but it didn't last. Deana eventually got out, and some older fella noticed the empty spot, lost the shorts, and hopped in. In an instant, everyone was scrambling to get out like their lives depended on it or something. I'll say one thing, the Millers may be kind of rude sometimes, but at least they're not subtle about it. The old fella didn't seem to have taken much of a liking to Stu, though.

Stu: "If you don't want to talk about body building, then I'm getting out of here!"
About this time, somebody noticed that there was a boatload of other stuff to do at the resort, including a huge selection of carnival games for the family to spend lots of money on. Well, it just wouldn't be a vacation if the family didn't come back broke, and so, everyone set off to do their part toward that end. Stu and Keri headed over to the hammer and bell game so they could test their strength...competitively, of course. I guess Stu gets his yayas from asserting dominance over females in tests of strength or something. Yes, Stu's a real gentleman, all right...

Stu: "Mwahahah! You hit like a girl!"
Seeing as how the easiest way to win at something is not to compete against anyone else, Bobby enjoyed the clown shooting game all by himself. More than likely, since the game involved skill and not strength, Bobby was just afraid that Deana would show him up and make him look bad. I guess that whole alien abduction incident didn't do anything to boost Bobby's clown shooting skills. Whatever the case, half the time he couldn't get his gun to shoot all the way to the clown, and couldn't even win against himself. What a loser.

Bobby: "You feel lucky? Well, do ya', clown?"
Deana wasn't at all interested in squirting at Bozo. No, she was having way too much fun with a game that involved the skill of flinging chickens into a great big pot. She wasn't afraid to test her skills competitively, either, as she allowed Keri to play against her. In the end, it was Deana who kept coming out on top as the undisputed chicken champ. I'm not sure how she developed such a skill, but I guess we all have hidden talents. Whatever the case, she was the only one really getting their money's worth back in tickets for the games she was playing.

Deana: "If only cooking were this much fun, I might actually do it!"
Yes, I was really rooting for at least one of the Millers to earn enough tickets to actually redeem them for something, though it wasn't looking promising. Deana was way in the lead, though she just stuck with the chickens the whole time. The rest of the family kept switching games, and they seemed to suck equally at all of them. Stu may have beaten Keri at the hammer game when they played together, but when he played by himself, he could barely get the bell off the ground. Eventually, he and Bobby found their calling at the "Whack-a-Will" game, though they still wasted a lot more money than they got tickets from it.

Bobby: "I may not be able to shoot straight, but I can sure as heck whack nerd heads with a club!"
Eventually, most of the gang grew tired of the carnival games, and decided to move on to other things. Stu was one of the smart ones, and decided to take a dip in the pool, since that was something else he couldn't do at home (and since there was no way to swim in the actual ocean, even at the beach). Stu wasn't alone, though. His old buddy, the obsessed fan, decided to jump in fully clothed as well and keep Stu company. It's night time, there are no lights at the pool, and there's an obsessed stalker swimming around in it...now that sounds like a fun swim!

Stu: "Alright, dude...this time you've gone too far!"
Soon, morning had arrived, and nobody had had a wink of sleep all night long. For some reason, nobody was really tired, probably because of the screwed up sleep schedule they'd developed at the snow resort. After tossing chickens in pots all night long, Deana managed to save up enough tickets to get something from the prize counter. Luckily, she had enough to afford better stuff than the crappy coconut monkey or skull or baby doll (which the Wilsons have like a jillion of at their house).

Deana: "Yes! Jenny Pig! At last, my life is complete!"
Well, rather than stick around another day, especially with everyone so sleep deprived, the gang grabbed a bite to eat, and got ready to head out. Actually, most of them grabbed a bite to eat...Peter headed upstairs and proceeded to order several drinks in a row at the bar (I guess that's something special since, unlike the Wilsons, the Millers don't have a bar at their house). While he was up there, I spotted my favorite non-neighborhood vacationer, Knut Sartre. Knut used to confound me time after time when I'd send the Wilsons on vacation and see him in the hot tub, thinking it was Kevin, then have Kammy try to get friendly with him with disastrous results. Of course, the resemblance only goes from the neck up...

Knut: "Eh? I look like Kevin who??"
Well, eventually, the family returned back home for some much needed rest and relaxation (isn't that what going on vacation is for?), and a chance to finally get out of the post spotlight for a little while. Since hardly anybody brought back any souvenirs, nobody did that annoying thing they do where they all run everywhere they go when they got home. Deana did have her Jenny Pig to display, and display it she did, right by the front door. There goes the only logical place in the house to set the bills when they arrive.

Deana: "Your job will be to greet people as they come in..."
Well, that wraps up our fun and games with the Miller family for now. Time to give them a bit of a break again. Coming up next - Leon Jackson may have agreed to stop hitting on Doris, but what about their undeniable attraction to one another? Will Brooke beat Leon's arse for pining for another woman while they're "dating"? Will the family ever learn their lesson about fooling around with the magic lamp and chemistry set? There's only one way to find out, and you know what it is!