Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Truth is Somewhere

Greetings, everyone, and welcome back to the one and only source of dope on the good "people" of the Monkeesim neighborhood (I'm sure there are a couple of good people there somewhere, the rest are complete lunatics). If you're reading this before New Year's, bravo…that means I found the time to get it done. At this moment, I'm leaving for Nebraska to see the in-laws tomorrow, and I'm not sure I'll even have time to get this blog done before I go. We shall see…

In our last episode of Monkeesims, we witnessed a strange sight as former enemies Tommy Wolf and Leon Jackson buried the hatchet and had a gay old time hanging out at Tommy's shack. The whole Rinoa incident is old news, and let's face it…neither of them really gives a rip about who or what she's doing at this point. They've both got better things going on. Tommy is married to Allyn, with a baby on the way, and Leon has his pal Moon Dawg and his boat. Oh, yeah…and his girlfriend Debbie. Sorry, we don't want to forget Debbie. As we first visit Leon's boat, we find Debbie unhappily assessing the shack Moon Dawg built on deck for he and Keri James to stay in.

Debbie: "…and why'd they have to use this stupid, ugly door?"

Let's face it, Debbie has been somewhat overlooked since the arrival of Moon Dawg. Heck, she hasn't even been given a change of clothes since she moved in with Leon, although that has more to do with his love of the maid uniform than anything else (she does get a little sick of people telling her to quit screwing around and start cleaning everywhere she goes). Despite falling for Leon, though, Debbie isn't stupid, and eventually got fed up with playing second fiddle to Leon's "bro's". And so, much to everyone's amazement, she packed all her invisible belongings, called up a cab, and moved out. Her and Leon could still be a couple, but she wasn't going to sit around on his dumb boat all day waiting for him to find time for her…no, sir…

Debbie: "Love Boat my foot…I'm off that garbage scow!"

As much as she hated being ignored, Debbie really, really hated that little shack out on the deck that Moon Dawg built. Actually, she hated the fact that the door was locked whenever there was someone in there, and she couldn't get in. What did she think was in there exactly? There's like a bed, two lamps, and a poster or two, and that's it. Actually, I should say "there was" instead of "there is", because as soon as Debbie had moved off the boat, the shack suddenly seemed a bit unnecessary. Moon Dawg and Leon decided they missed the old "view" for whatever it was worth, and the shack was demolished. I think Leon will probably be demolished as well the next time Debbie sees the boat and realizes the shack was torn down the moment she left.

Things return once again to normal…whatever "normal" is.

Now, in case you were wondering, Debbie left, but Keri James stuck around. If this all seems a little odd to you, don't worry, it is. See, Leon, Moon Dawg, and Debbie may have been able to squeeze three people into the main cabin originally, but that was because they were able to sleep two people on the pimped out bed with a third sleeping on the recliner. Well, that arrangement stayed the same, it's just that since Moon Dawg was the one with the girl, he automatically claimed rights to the bed, and Leon was assigned to the recliner. Talk about a strange change of fortune. Leon suddenly found himself feeling just a little lonely, and not very much like master and commander of his vessel anymore (the boat vessel, for all you sickos out there).

Leon: "Hmmm…no, this just isn't quite right…"

Despite being top dawg at Pimp Harbor, Moon Dawg didn't let it go to his head. His priorities remained the same as they always had since Keri moved in - spend a lot of time with his girl, hang out a bit with Leon, then spend all night looking through the telescope for aliens. Contracting lycanthropy from Tommy Wolf helped with the telescope all-nighters, because the actual telescope using wasn't very energy consuming, and the burst of energy Moon Dawg received as a werewolf was enough to negate the need for sleep. I've often debated whether I thought werewolves or vampires had it better in the sims, but since a werewolf can also be a normal person by day, I don't think there's really any contest.

Moon Dawg: "Howling at the moon's so much better when you're zoomed in on it, mon!"

That's pretty much the routine Moon Dawg followed after his transformation to werewolf and household stud. Leon's activities varied a little bit more, but usually either involved drinking and the hot tub (thankfully, there was no drinking FROM the hot tub). Romance has always been a big part of Leon's life, though, and he was feeling the void Debbie had left inside him (which is weird, because they were still technically dating, but he never bothered to pick up the phone to call her). One night, however, Claire Redmond, Leon Hartman's former girlfriend, came by the boat to borrow some sugar. Moon Dawg had turned off all the lights on the boat to make for better telescope viewing, so it was dark, and…well…

Leon: "I got your sugar right here, babe!"

I can see how Leon could be confused, since Debbie and Claire are both blonde, and they're both women. I think the similarity ends there, though. Leon did eventually realize Claire wasn't Debbie, though, even with the lights turned off, but the damage was already done. Leon decided he liked Claire a bit better anyway, because her portrait in his relationship bar had TWO little lightning bolts instead of the one Debbie had, but he was hesitant to break up with Debbie just the same. Well, with Leon busy making out with the wrong woman and Keri soaking in the hot tub, it took everyone a moment to realize Moon Dawg had finally realized his dream - the little green men had come for him…

Leon: "…*sniff*…never another like ol' Moon Dawg!"

It was a tough time for everyone, even Claire, who pretended to be distraught but had never actually interacted with Moon Dawg since coming to the boat (maybe she was just so sad she'd never gotten a chance to meet him). There was very little that could be done…I think I was more worried than everyone else, because Moon Dawg's need meters kept going up and down, including his hunger meter, which bottomed out a few times (and that usually means death). In cases like this, the worst plan would be to do whatever it was that caused the bad thing to happen to the affected person in the first place, but that was just what Leon did - he ran to the telescope and started scanning the skies for his old buddy.

Leon: "I can't see Moon Dawg, but I can see Uranus!"

It seemed like a really long time that Moon Dawg was gone. If you'll recall, there hasn't been an alien abduction since Bobby Miller of the original neighborhood, and while he was gone for days, nobody really missed him too much (besides Peter Miller). When he returned, he just sort of dropped on the lawn with little fanfare and a satellite dish installed in his bum. Moon Dawg was an important part of the Pimp Harbor "family", and his absence sort of left everyone milling around not doing much of anything…heck, Leon didn't even feel like making out with anyone without his pal around. Well, the wait and anticipation of his return eventually ended, because…

Leon: "Whoa! Either Moon Dawg is coming back, or I've had WAY too much to drink!"

Moon Dawg was indeed being returned, and in a much flashier fashion than Bobby Miller had been. I was thankful for this, because the special events videos were turned off when Moon Dawg was first taken, and I was wondering if I was going to get to see the flying saucer - I wasn't disappointed. Either the aliens had finished their business, or realized that Moon Dawg was a werewolf, and didn't represent an accurate sampling of the human race, but they had no more use for him. And so, in spectacular fashion, Moon Dawg was ejected out of the saucer and onto the street. Geez, knowing what those aliens do to male abductees, you'd think they'd at least have bought him dinner or given him flowers, but no…nothing. Those aliens have no manners.

Hmmm…that looks like it's gonna' hurt...

The ejection was so spectacular, I captured it from more than one angle, and couldn't decide on my favorite, so here it is again…

That still looks like it's gonna' hurt...

Well, Moon Dawg got his wish, and had a close encounter with his little green friends from above…a very close encounter. So close, in fact, that he left as a werewolf and returned as a pregnant werewolf…and you can bet he won't be collecting child support from the father any time soon (well, the other father, anyway). Poor Moon Dawg. This is the most messed up a Jackson family member has been since Steve Jackson died, came back as a zombie, and got sprayed by a skunk, and he was never quite the same after that. Will all of the changes Moon Dawg's undergone drive away his girl, Keri? Will Leon work things out with Debbie, stick with Claire, or find someone else? Well, it looks like I'll be able to post this before I leave for vacation, and I'll actually have time for one more short, random post tomorrow, so drop in and check it out. Have a great day! :-)


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