Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Meet the Rambos

No, this isn't a thread devoted to Sylvester Stallone's muscle bound one-man-army movies...thank goodness. Sorry if that's what you were hoping for (though I will take this opportunity to voice my opinion that I think it's a bad idea for him to be making another Rambo film when he's almost 60 now. He should be worrying about taking his vitamins and not breaking a hip. Does anyone here remember Rocky V? Aargh...and that was made when he was still quite a bit younger.

Anyway, as I've mentioned before, the MonkeeSims neighborhood consists of a lot more families than just the ones that are usually in the spotlight in my posts. I usually pick on the Wilsons and the Millers because they have more people in their family, the family members have quirky habits and personalities, and it's hard to know what to expect out of them when you let them do their own thing. The neighborhood features (or has featured) a lot of less exciting families as well, some of my creation, and others put in there by the game that I left around. In most of those cases, you're not missing anything, and I'm not terribly interested in playing as them.

There are, of course, exceptions, and the Rambo's are one of them, mainly because of the odd nature of their house. My brother created the family while visiting the other day, and I thought their house merited a quick tour. I doubt I'll spend much time covering them as a family later, but this will make for a nice change of pace from the recent posts.

Here we see the house from a bird's eye view. From the outside, it looks like your average, everyday suburban tiki house. Well, don't be deceived...on the inside, it's much, much more. Yes, the inside is more like Pee-Wee's Playhouse.

Image hosting by PhotobucketDespite it's golden roof, the Rambo house has yet to be visited by a burglar. You'll see why soon enough.

Before we look at the house too much, though, let's meet the family ever so briefly. It's your typical two adult and one child family. The boy's name is Giorge, pictured here watching TV in the bright orange, trash strewn living room.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThat poor bear should have been on the lookout for falling TV's.

Here's the man of the house, Lucius Rambo. He's a nice, uptight sort who likes to wear a suit everywhere he goes. He doesn't have a job, so the suit probably helps compensate for that by giving the illusion that he doesn't need one. One thing is certain - if he does ever pursue a career, it probably shouldn't be as an interior decorator.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe hanging bead entryways to the various rooms and bathroom help to eliminate any illusion of privacy in the house.

This is the Mrs, Margarita Rambo. She spends a lot of time taking out trash, and the rest of the family spends a lot of time creating it. She doesn't look very happy in this picture, though it's hard to say why. Maybe she doesn't like garbage...or maybe she doesn't like living in a house that looks like it should feature robotic singing tiki masks and parrots. It's hard to say.

Image hosting by PhotobucketLucius and Margarita should probably have discussed their differences in decorating tastes before moving into the tiki house of horrors.

Let's take another look at the living room, this time from a little further away. It affords us a better look at some of the cooler features, like the huge swordfish on the wall, and the voodoo doll on the entryway table, which Lucius and Margarita use to vent their passive-aggressive frustrations at each other.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThings do look better from further away. Further away from here is definitely better...

No tiki funhouse would be complete without a swimming pool in the living room. What? Your home doesn't have one? Well, you better run right out and correct that! This place does, though, complete with an awesome slide so people can slide down it and splash water all over the living room carpet...and the charbroil grill sitting right there poolside.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe indoor living room pool...complete with electrical lights right at the edge of the pool where they can easily fall in.

I think this is one of my favorite rooms - the windowless, dismal bathroom, complete with really busy wallpaper, uncomfortable outdated throne toilet, and a cockatoo on a perch right in front of the toilet (in case you're one of those people who needs to talk to someone while they "go"). There's also a chestnut tree in the corner of the bathroom, where the residents pick chestnuts to sell. How many people do you think would buy them if they knew where they came from?

Image hosting by Photobucket"Squawk! Don't forget to flush!"

Here's Giorge's bedroom, featuring a huge studio light thing that doesn't work, weird tiki dresser thing, and virtually no windows. You might be asking yourself where the "childish" touches to this room are, but don't bother...there are none. So far as I could tell, the sources of fun for children in this house involve watching TV, swimming, or spraying roaches.

Image hosting by PhotobucketNo need for kids to worry about imaginary monsters in the closet or under the bed when they can have an ugly tiki mask on their dresser to keep them awake.

The adults aren't totally without ways to amuse themselves. Yeah, there's the TV, swimming, picking up garbage, and of course, the mandatory dance cage in the corner of the living room. It's not only fun, but healthy as well. Lucius likes to warm up for his days of doing nothing by shaking it in the cage a little bit...right in view of where people are trying to eat.

Image hosting by PhotobucketNothing like some wild cage dancing in a black suit to help you work up a sweat.

I myself find the kitchen decorating scheme quite intriguing. Here, we have a desperately outdated stove, non-electric food storage cabinet, and bamboo counters, complete with a sink. I'm just guessing here, but it seems that by the time they spent so much money on the the rest of the crazy household "necessities", there wasn't much to be spent on the kitchen arrangement. That might explain the complete and total lack of dining room table of any sort.

Image hosting by PhotobucketAt least there's a great view of the much nicer outside world while you're washing the dishes.

The most normal looking room in the house is the adult's bedroom...where Giorge winds up sleeping quite frequently. Can you blame him? Their room at least has a computer. His just has an ugly tiki mask dresser and broken studio light. Note the attractive utility light sticking out from the wall at the end of the hallway.

Image hosting by PhotobucketIt's definitely more attractive than the rest of the house...not that that's too difficult to achieve.

Last I saw of the house, the trash factor of the place had attracted Henri LeStanc to the property, and all three of the residents proceeded to try to pet him, getting sprayed one after the other (Giorge got sprayed right before he got on the school bus). I laughed so hard, I almost puked, and that was enough for me for the time being. I think we've poked around enough into the private lives of the Rambos for now. We probably won't be coming back to their house again (I might in sim form, since I have no control over that), but you'll see them here and there at other houses in some of our later posts.

Well, I've got some more pics of the Wilsons again, but they'll have to wait another post or two until I wrap up what the Millers have going on. Next time is going to be a least I thought so. Stop by next time, and you can be the judge of that yourself.


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