Friday, November 09, 2007

Revenge of Tommy Wolf

Hey there, Sims fans! Believe it or not, I'm actually typing this post up the same day as the one I most recently posted (the one about the witch and the werewolf). Yes, I'm that bored! That, and I feel like I might keel over at any moment from eating too many salty sunflower seeds over the course of the past two weeks. If you're reading this, though, I probably didn't (I doubt anyone would take the time if this was discovered posthumously).

I've made some mention of Leon Jackson in my last couple of posts. For those of you who have followed the Monkeesim saga from the beginning, he needs no further introduction (aside from mentioning he now lives solo on a boat in a harbor in the middle of town). I should mention that he lives on his own now, though - no more Moon Dawg or Steve Jackson to speak of (at the moment, anyway). For those of you who don't know Leon, he's a ladies man with horrible taste in clothes and even worse decorating taste, and a bad habit of hitting on other people's girls. Oh, Leon, you're such a pig…

Leon: "I don't care what they say about me…I'm the one with the awesome boat!"

Yes, Leon was all about love. Love of women, love of late night partying, and love of life in general. Oh, and love of himself, too. Actually, in the short time since Leon moved into the new Monkeesim neighborhood (or sailed in might be a more appropriate term), he'd managed to make more enemies than friends with his policy of making "close friends" with girls for one day, then going off in search of another the next. For the most part, he got away with it too. Mostly. Below, we see Kitty Wilson, who he hooked up with at one point, having knocked over his trash can, shortly before leaving and coming back to steal his newspaper. Yes, some women don't like Leon much at all.

Kitty: "Oh, Leon, you're such a pig! I wish you would burn up in a boat fire!"

If you read our last post, you'll remember that it was none other than Leon Jackson who kissed Tommy Wolf's girlfriend, Rinoa Hartman during one of Tommy's parties, driving a wedge between the two and really pissing Tommy off. Leon managed to escape the party before Tommy could give him a beating, and never heard anything about it since. News travels fast among sim chicks, though, and it wasn't long before Leon was having trouble finding a date, unable to find any women even passing his boat besides Kitty, who really just wanted to give him a sound thrashing. Well, if you remember the Leon of old, you may recall he liked to use the magic lamp a lot to give himself an edge in his love life. Not having access to such any more, Leon called upon the next best thing…the gypsy match maker…

Gypsy: "I shall be sprayed by a skunk!"

Well, Leon has no job, but he has some money to his name, so he could have afforded to pay the gypsy handsomely to assure himself a hot night out. Yeah, well, if you thought Leon was going to do that, you don't know him all too well. No, he went the cheap route, paying the gypsy less than half of the possible donation, and as expected, he got less than half of what he was hoping for. Leon found himself on a hot date with the magically summoned mail carrier, complete with mail bag. It could have been worse I suppose - the mail carrier could have been a guy.

Leon: "I just sort of assumed you guys had other clothes besides your work uniforms…"

Unbelievably, even though the date Leon had with the mail carrier still had over a minute left to make something out of it, she ditched Leon and left him alone out on the dance floor, humiliating him in front of everyone else present. This sent Leon into a state of desperation, where he felt the need to prove one way or the other that he still had skillz with the ladies. Strangely, there were very few other women in the joint, just some guys and an older lady named Betty something-or-other. Well, Leon wasn't about to waste his charm on the dudes, so he began putting the moves on Betty, figuring it was better than nothing (I'm not sure I tend to agree with him there).

Leon: "Can I buy you a fish sandwich?"

If you'll glance back at that photo, you'll notice that's not just some random dude wandering up behind Leon there. It's none other than Tommy Wolf, Leon's newest enemy. Could it be that the time to deliver that butt kicking Leon earned at his party has arrived? It could be, but Tommy had a much more painful fate in store for Mr Jackson. Rather than take a shot at his face, he took a shot at his pride, and stole Ms Betty right out from under him (in the figurative sense, thank goodness). So much for the all powerful Leon Jackson way with women.

Tommy: "So you've never gone out with a werewolf before? That's a shame…"

Well, obviously Tommy had no intentions of taking things to the next level with Betty - it was simply a maneuver designed to mess with Leon's head, and mess with it did. Of course, he could have left it at that and had the satisfaction of knowing he'd taught Leon a lesson, but that wasn't quite enough. Not when Tommy could shove Leon against the pinball machines and slap him silly, and slap he did. One might question the hypocrisy of all of this after Tommy's recent romantic evening with Kitty Wilson, who's not just with someone else but is married to them. I guess this mess wasn't about that, though, and Tommy was just too caught up in the fun of beating around Leon to worry about things like hypocrisy…

Tommy: "Be thankful…next time it's a knee to the groin!"

Well, Leon may not be the greatest physical specimen in all of the Monkeesim neighborhood (not remotely close even), but he's watched his share of soap operas before, and knew just how to repay Tommy for smacking him around. He got himself a drink, and proceeded to toss it in Tommy's face, just like in the soaps! However, most of the time, the characters in soap operas aren't werewolves who will severely pound your arse for throwing booze in their faces, so it's not quite the same. Ironically, bar patrons Josh and Patricia standing next to Leon seem to be reacting like this is the best thing they've ever seen in their lives. Weirdoes.

Josh: "This is so much better than in the soaps!"

Well, Tommy didn't do anything back to Leon right away - I don't know if this is because he figured he'd beat on Leon enough or if he was recovering from a serious case of "booze goggles", but his moment of hesitation cost him dearly. Yes, after getting away with one successful assault on Tommy, Leon got greedy and decided to let loose with a nice, oniony belch right in Tommy's face. That can't possibly make things any worse, right? Strangely, Patricia continues to look amused...

Leon: "You want to know what I'm like on the inside?"

I have to interject here - I wasn't controlling any of this behavior. Normally I exert some control over my sims, but sometimes I don't have to, and this was one of those cases. I was sitting back busting up and waiting to see where things were going to go. Now, if this were the movies, it would be about time for the old, "let's take this outside" bit, and I considered making it happen myself, but decided to sit back and watch instead. Leon, figuring he'd gotten the last laugh, wandered outside to have a water balloon fight with some chicks. He never saw Tommy coming until it was too late…

Leon: "Get your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty wolf!"

Well, I knew how that was going to end before it even really began. You see, werewolves are granted maximum body points after their first transformation, and Leon only had like 2 to speak of himself. In other words, he got his butt seriously kicked, and in record time. As before, Tommy decided to further humiliate Leon by stealing the chicks he'd headed outside with. Meanwhile, Leon stood off to the side and fumed, understandably so. You see, when people start demonstrating that he's not the smoothest with the ladies, not the best physical specimen, and not the greatest date, he's really just another guy in a really ugly purple suit…

Leon: "Man, I wanted to get with the plant babe!"

Well, Leon is nothing if not a sore loser (in many ways), and nobody can take that away from him. He promptly abandoned all hopes of hitting on the ladies for the time being, and sought out his good pal, Marty Wilson. As you can see, he opted to talk about Tommy behind his back, safely out of butt kicking range. I imagine he was probably telling Marty stuff about how Tommy was hitting on his wife, Kitty, and other such vicious babble. I imagine he was probably NOT talking about his own fling with Kitty, since Leon can't stand to lose too many more friends. Oh, Leon…you think you're a hopeless romantic, but you're really just plain hopeless!

Leon: "Dude, I totally kicked his butt…you should have seen it..."

Well, we could continue to follow Leon around here, but I can't imagine he could humiliate himself more than he already has. If there's such a thing as sim karma, I'd say it's come around and bitten Leon on the arse big time. Maybe he'll think twice before putting the moves on someone's girl right in the middle of a party at their house again. It's Leon, so I'm not making any guarantees, but the whole experience has to have made some sort of impression on him (and I'm not just talking about the impressions Tommy made on his face).

Well, Leon's gotten what he deserved. Next time, we'll shift our focus to the Wilson household and see what's brewing. Kitty and Marty haven't been getting along, and she's gone out with Leon Jackson and Tommy Wolf already to get his attention. Could it be over for one of Monkeesim's longest running couples? Will Kitty ditch Marty? Will he ditch her? What becomes of their pug, Gizmo Pup, in the event of a separation? Well, I'm sure not gonna tell you now - I'm done for the day! Stay tuned!


Post a Comment

<< Home