Slap Happy Sims

Hey there, and welcome back. Hope you enjoyed the last couple unusually odd posts, and I hope you're prepared to go back to something a little less off the wall. I know, having a clown burn down a house with a ray gun is a pretty tough act to follow, but we'll give it our best, eh?

I'd considered doing some more on the Millers, but after observing them in action in their natural environment, I determined that there wasn't really anything else worth documenting at the moment. Sorry, guys, but you've got to give me something from time to time.

I'll admit that I'd like to see my sim families branch out a little more and expand their interests and activities, but this is a little difficult with only the Superstar and Vacation expansions. True, they head off to the resorts or visit Studio Town (for a couple minutes before they get tired), but somehow, most of what happens in those locations doesn't make for very interesting post material. A friend of mine had offered to give me the Unleashed and Hot Date expansions, but so far she hasn't remembered. I'm hoping that might add a little more life to the MonkeeSims world. Anyway...

Let's see how the Wilsons are doing after Marty's great big flop of a birthday bash. Talk about tough acts to follow! Well, okay, maybe not so much. As we insert our snoopy camera into the house, we see the family hanging around and socializing. Kammy and J.D. pretend to play chess, but are actually just relaxing in the comfy chairs. Kitty suggests to Marty not so subtly that he could benefit from a little weight lifting.

Kitty: "You know, there's a weight bench right outside the back door..."
Well, anyway, Marty takes the suggestion for what it's worth, and completely ignores it. He and Kitty are already dating, so what on earth does he need to worry about improving his appearance for? Besides, being a grungy, semi-flabby slacker has always been Marty's thing, and it's worked pretty well for him so far. Instead of working out, he decides to answer the phone, which turns out to be a prank caller.

Marty: "Is my refrigerator running? I think so. Let me go...hey, wait a second...!"
Kitty notices Marty looking a little grouchy after the phone exchange, and decides he could use a little cheering up. Moments later, the two were engaged in the Cha Cha, and the phone call was quickly forgotten. Marty should really be leading, not dipping, but whatever works.

Kitty: "If he won't work out, maybe I can dance him into shape!"
Well, the dance ended soon enough, though not before Kevin caught a glimpse of the pair. He decided it looked like fun, so before you know it, he took Marty by the hand, and the two did a little Cha Cha of their own. Well, Kammy was none too pleased by this. She stomped on over and let Marty have it!

Kammy: "Back off, dirt bag! He's mine!"
Naturally, Marty was saddened by the violent response to his innocent little Cha Cha. Kammy is a mean, mean person, though, and she just stood and stared at Marty while he broke down and sobbed.

C'mon, Marty, take it like a man!
Obviously, this didn't make much sense, since Marty was the innocent victim in the matter and Kevin was the instigator. The Wilsons never were a very sensible lot, though...remember the incident with the pink gorilla? If anyone should have been smacked, it was Kevin...and Kitty promptly took care of that.

Kitty: "How dare you Cha Cha with my boyfriend, you pig!"
This, of course, caused Kevin to start sobbing. Meanwhile, Marty stood off over to the side and pouted. Yeesh...what a bunch of babies! So somebody slapped you for dancing the Cha Cha...get over it!

Where have all the real men gone?
As if things weren't already bad enough, the girls stood off to the side and badmouthed the pair. You can really feel the love in the house right about now. Kevin and Marty seem to be consoling each other in response to their hurt feelings. Call me crazy, but this seems a little backward to say the least.

Kevin: "At least we've still got each other..."
Well, you would think that the guys would have learned their lesson by now, but no such luck. I was astounded to see them respond to the whole situation by dancing again. Either these guys are serious gluttons for abuse, or they're the biggest idiots in the world.

Great, more dancing! That will solve everything!
If you think you know what happened next, well, you're wrong! You're probably thinking that the slapping began again, but actually, before that happened, the obsessed fan walked right in through the front door and started giving himself a tour of the place. Of course, everyone was so busy hating each other that nobody seemed to notice.

Obsessed Fan: "Don't mind me, guys. I'll just show myself around!"
Nobody ever did see where he went or what he did, but nothing turned up missing, so it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that Kammy was back to smacking Marty around again. It's a good thing Marty has a strong ethic against smacking women back, though it's not such a great thing that Kammy is enjoying abusing that ethic quite so much. Poor Marty gets no respect.

Marty: "Why? Why must I live in such an abusive household?"
Clearly, Kitty was a little irritated about Kammy treating her man like a piñata, but since her and Kammy are friends, a direct assault on the aggressor was out of the question. Instead, she took the passive aggressive (though still aggressive) approach, and let Kevin have it once more.

It's hard to tell what Kammy is sobbing about. Maybe because she's such an awful, hateful person.
Well, eventually, the slapping stopped, and Kitty and Marty went one way, and Kevin and Kammy another. It seemed like the whole mess was over, and like everyone had more or less worked out their differences for the moment. Well, you may have thought it was over, but if you did, you would be wrong. I checked outside a couple minutes later, and there was Kammy, talking trash about Marty to Julie and J.D., the two people who weren't involved in the whole slap-fest. She just can't let it go, can she?

Poor Marty still gets no respect.
Well, as much fun as this has been, I think we've looked in on enough of this happy scene. Oh, well...it can't be fun and games all the time, can it? If nothing else, maybe this has made you feel better about your own situation, whatever it may be. We'll just hope things go in a more promising direction next time we meet! Until then, take care!