Where's Kevin Wilson?

Hey, folks. Good to have you back. Guess what...I'm dead tired again today! I might as well, just say that that's implied every day and not post it here, because that seems to be a theme lately. We hosted a lock-in this past Friday with 13 teenagers, and that sort of took it out of us. I wound up sleeping most of the day Saturday to recover from it, and things were just a little "off" after that.

It feels like it's been a long, long time since we checked out the Wilson family. Sure, it's only fair since they've dominated so many of the posts on this blog already, but we can't totally neglect them. Especially not when things are just preparing to get interesting with the family again. Having read that the focus of this post is Kevin Wilson, you may not think so, but read on.

The last we saw of Kevin was when he visited the Jackson house, drank some funky potion, and passed out on their front lawn, only to crawl home after waking up hours later. Well, believe it or not, that was pretty much the last the rest of the family saw him as well, including his girlfriend, Kammy. Where, oh, where could he have gone? Well, luckily, since in the world of MonkeeSims I am all-knowing, I can tell you.

As we join Kevin, we find him not at the Wilson house, but at someone else's place. You may think from the unaltered appearance of the place that it's Claire Charming's house, but remember, she's Claire Cartwright now, and hasn't lived there for quite some time. Who the actual owner of the house is now shall remain a mystery for the moment. Here, we find Kevin sitting around, glued to the television, totally unaware that his whereabouts have been discovered by the likes of us...

Kevin: "Why do I get this weird feeling that I'm being watched?"
Kevin doesn't stay watching the tube for very long. People start showing up for some sort of gathering, complete with caterer, "entertainer" cake, and crappy French mime. If you'll notice, all of the guests at this gathering are guys. Heck, even the gardener is there for a piece of the action. No sign of Kevin's girlfriend Kammy, of course, at this strange guy-only get together.

Kevin: "Touch that computer, and I'm going to hurt you, mime!"
Well, before long, the place is hopping, so much so, that Drew Carrey shows up. It's funny how there are all sorts of different things you can do to make a party a success, but the only sure-fire way to attract Drew I've ever discovered is having the cake dancer present. I guess we all know his priorities now, don't we? Whatever the case, everyone gathered around to see if Drew would actually do something entertaining, since that is what he does for a living. Despite the pressure, he stood his ground and did nothing.

Drew: "Sorry, guys! I'm just here for the lady in the cake!"
Well, luckily, everyone backed off moments later when the cake performance actually began, and it was a lot more interesting to everyone than Drew was (maybe if he were to pop out of a cake every now and then, it would shift the odds in his favor). It was quite the sight to see most of the male sims from the neighborhood standing out on the front lawn minus their significant others, cheering as the cake dancer emerged from the cake. What a bunch of pigs...

Well, at least there's one female at this party now...
After the performance was over, everyone split up to go have fun their own special way. Everyone ignored Drew Carrey, probably because they've seen him a million times at other houses in the neighborhood (he might as well buy one of his own with all the time he spends hanging around in the area). Meanwhile, the nice cake dancer lady comforted Steve Jackson, who was standing around looking rather pathetic.

Kevin: "Oh, for...he's not trying to get sympathy with that 'I was killed in a barbecue accident and came back as a zombie' story again, is he?"
I guess Kevin looked like he was getting jealous, because the cake dancer ditched Steve and came over to strike up a conversation with him instead. If Kevin was really feeling a lack of female company, he could have had Kammy invited to this party, but for reasons we can only imagine, he didn't. Kevin didn't get any cheering up like Steve did, though (like three times in a row). I guess he wasn't looking pathetic, just jealous and bored.

Cake Dancer: "You know, with the right pair of glasses, you'd look just like Drew Carrey!"
Even though the house itself is kind of small, the place was really hopping. Well, for a while it was, anyway. After a while, folks stopped talking to one another and just stood around. Someone broke the TV. Another woman showed up at the party, but it was only the maid, and she had only cleaning on her mind. It was starting to look like the party was slowly becoming a dud. Something had to be done. I changed the tense of this post a couple of paragraphs back apparently...so sue me.

Not even the mime stuck around for this party. Now that's pretty sad.
Well, it wasn't over yet. Despite the lack of TV or anything else significant to do, the guys all stuck around and pretended to have a good time. I guess they all felt the living room was getting a little cramped, because they all headed out front where the food table and the caterer were. There they all stood around and looked at the food. Wow, what a bunch of party animals! I'd be expecting the police to show up any moment to break up this wild bash!

Caterer: "Why? Why does nobody eat zee food? Eat it!"
Luckily, our host noticed the party was getting lame, and quickly installed a dance floor around the side of the house, complete with DJ table. This livened things up all right, although most of the folks who headed over to check it out just stood on the dance floor and talked about stuff. I guess that's an improvement over everyone standing around looking dumb and not talking.

Clint: "No, no, no...I disagree...nuclear power is much cleaner and more efficient than coal power..."
Yes, everyone finally found someone or something to keep them occupied, despite the absence of any females. Clint stood around on the dance floor looking a little dejected after everyone else paired off and left him alone. Well, he wasn't totally alone. He did have a nice collection of mangy neighborhood strays to keep him company. Okay, maybe the party hasn't gotten all that great after all.

Clint: "For the last time, no! I don't have any liver snaps on me!"
Word travels fast in the MonkeeSims neighborhood, and eventually, news of the weird all-guy party at the former Charming house reached the Wilson females (not surprising considering all three of the males from the Wilson house are at this party). Always one to intrude where she hasn't been invited, Kitty showed up see just what was going on. The mystery of where Kevin Wilson had been all this time was solved almost as soon as she reached the front yard.

Kevin: "Maybe if I stand really still, she won't see me!"
By this point, you might be wondering why I've subjected you to this boring party post. Well, quit being impatient, because I was about to tell you! Aside from just locating Kevin at the all-guy party, Kitty made an astonishing discovery...the house actually belongs to Kevin, and nobody else! So the mystery is solved partially...it seems Kevin has moved out of the Wilson house without saying anything to Kammy, and is throwing wild stag parties with cake dancers and loud music and smashed TV's!

Kitty: "That @#$% Kevin...wait till Kammy hears about this! He does scratch a mean record, though..."
Is the party soon to be over for Kevin Wilson? Has he totally gone off the deep end? What will happen when Kammy finds out she's been ditched for his little party house after all her waiting for him to get serious? Whatever it is, you can bet it probably won't be pretty! Whether you like Kevin or not, though, you have to admit that he's got it coming! What exactly he has coming, you'll just have to wait till next post to find out!