Death and Disaster: Part I

Hey, gang! Good to have you back again. Hope you weren't tossing and turning all night long in anticipation of this post (I wasn't either). It's been a long time since the crap really hit the fan in the MonkeeSims neighborhood, though that should be considered a good thing. Most of the neighborhood residents have gotten pretty lucky, especially since I usually just let things run their natural course and don't ever instigate or prevent disasters from happening (the Bozo posts were an exception, of course). Well, that's all about to come to an end for the Jacksons.

If you've read the last two posts, you already know that things are starting to fall apart within the Jackson family. A love triangle has begun to form between Steve, Doris, and Leon, the family members have begun to dislike one another because of stupid stuff, and the family tried to poison Kevin Wilson when he dropped by for a visit (okay, so that part was an accident). Does it get any worse? You bet! Read on!

Doris apparently decided that there was no point in hiding her overwhelming attraction to Leon, and she started spending lots and lots of time with him. Considering both Steve and Leon originally gained her affection through the use of potions, it's hard to feel too sorry for Steve, but she is his wife, and that does have to suck. Seeing as how Steve is kind of a pansy, there was only one way he could think of to vent his frustration at Leon for trying to steal his woman - turning into a monster and trashing the house.

Steve: "Me...angry! Kick...gnome! Graaar!"

Unfortunately, even in monster form, Steve was more or less ineffectual. Very few items around Leon's place were actually breakable, and the only one Leon seemed to really care about was the hot tub, which Steve couldn't touch. Doris and Leon just sat in the hot tub chatting away while poor Steve behaved like a lunatic, driven mad by jealousy. Wow...it's just like a really, really bad soap opera!

Doris: "Just ignore him...he'll go away sooner or later."

Doris and Leon ignoring Steve just caused him to get even more frustrated, and he kept throwing fits all over the house. Poor "Moon Dawg" was trying to sleep off a long day of woodworking when monster Steve barged into the room and started making a big stink. Once again, poor "Moon Dawg", who's just been trying to mind his own business, gets sucked into the mess others have created. It just doesn't pay to be the nice guy.

Kareem: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep, mon...er...monster!"

At this point, a great tragedy struck the family. I had instructed Leon to go feed the parrot (aka Parrot Jackson), and the action was queued, but he'd decided he needed to hit the hot tub first, where he was hanging out with Doris. I heard some ominous music, and the next thing everyone knew, the parrot was dead. This was quite the blow to the family - they had experienced many things since moving into the house, but never the death of a loved one.

Leon: "Sniff...there were so many phrases I still wanted to teach him!"

Everyone knew Parrot Jackson was dead, but for some odd reason, nobody could bring themselves to throw him out. I found it a little odd myself that there was no option to bag him and toss him out front, but I guess the game has its reasons. Whatever the case, the most the family could bring themselves to do was clean up after the dead parrot, which Leon had also failed to do in favor of sitting in the hot tub. Yeah...mopping under the parrot stand...that will help the smell...

Doris: "I know we all miss him, but can't we just throw the @#$% bird away?"

Overall, the tragedy hit everyone pretty hard. For the longest time, they wouldn't stop weeping over that dang parrot. "Moon Dawg" was too depressed to continue his gnome making, and spent a lot of time sleeping instead (when monster Steve wasn't busy waking him up). The obsessed fan wandered around the gnome stand, looking for the famous gnome maker, while Chester peed on it, probably out of disgust at all the attention the dead bird was getting.

Chester: "All that fuss over a stupid dead bird? I'll give you something to be sad about!"

The family was pretty much wiped out, and everyone was heading to bed. As if enough bad stuff hadn't happened already, Doris got in Leon's bed instead of in the two separate beds her and Steve usually sleep in. Wow....she really is a cold, heartless witch when she wants to be. Nothing happened between her and Leon, but I don't think it really matters...the message was clear. Leon was in and Steve was out. Poor Steve...what a loser!

Doris: "That garbage bag isn't still in this bed somewhere, is it?"

"Moon Dawg" was still trying hard to remain neutral throughout all of this, and steering clear of all his house mates was the safest way to do that. Unfortunately, it caused his social need to suffer, not having anyone to talk to. In a desperate attempt at getting some company, "Moon Dawg" played with the chemistry set and made a potion to clone himself. Well, the potion worked, but the clone left almost as soon as he appeared. Poor "Moon Dawg"...not even he wants to hang out with himself. Steve's not the biggest loser around the place anymore.

Clone: "Yo, mon, I'm like, outta' here!"

Seems to me it would have been easier for "Moon Dawg" to just pick up the phone and call someone to visit, but maybe he knows something I don't. Meanwhile, feeling totally abandoned by pretty much everyone, Steve consulted the magic gravy server, hoping the genie would somehow make things right (he should know better by now). Well, the genie didn't offer any earth shaking solutions to Steve's problems, but at least he didn't destroy any relationships or kill Leon's plants this time.

Steve: "That's your cure for my emotional crisis? A big screen TV?"

Steve didn't even have a place to put his new TV, so he was forced to sell it, and he bought a barbecue grill instead (a decision he would later regret). He had to settle for watching Leon's TV on Leon's couch with Doris, who was more or less Leon's girl. That sucks for him...everywhere he looks, he's surrounded by reminders of that skunk, Leon. Steve sat on the opposite end of the couch, as far away as possible from Doris, yet he still looked uncomfortable. He's probably wishing he was anywhere else in the universe at the moment. It's a wonder he doesn't think to pick up the phone and visit somewhere else for a while (that whole phone thing seems to elude both "Moon Dawg" and Steve alike).

Steve: "I should have traded that TV in for a computer...I could have found some friends online!"

Well, Parrot Jackson died, Doris has begun neglecting Steve in favor of Leon, "Moon Dawg" doesn't even want to hang out with himself. This is pretty sad. If you think you've seen the worst of it, though, forget it. Things go from bad to worse in our next post, "Death and Disaster: Part II". Those morbid types out there won't want to miss it...it's guaranteed to make you feel better about your own life! See you then!