Gone Too Soon

First off, this is the second time I'm posting today alone, so if you haven't read the "Metamorphosim" post yet, you might want to (or parts of this will NOT make sense).

Anyhow, as the no longer "politically correct" Fat Albert would say, "hey, hey, hey!" How's it going? Never mind, I can't hear you anyway, and since there's not usually very many comments posted here any more, that doesn't really work either. It matters not, though…just as I talk just for the sake of talking at work when nobody listens, so I post just for the satisfaction of doing so. Plus, this stuff is destined to be the 20th century version of Shakespeare when I kick the bucket and people of the future go digging through internet archives looking for hidden intellectual gems of the past. Okay, so maybe not.

I've been playing around with the new neighborhood my wife put together, and it's interesting…in a very dull kind of way. I find myself greatly challenged designing only "attractive" sims sans vampirism or any other ugly affliction, all living in "normal" houses with regular jobs. I did manage to sneak in some sims who are exact clones of sims from the Monkeesim neighborhood, but they have different names, so it confuses me sometimes. I'll always prefer the sims featured here, though - they have the most unusual behavior and interesting lives...


Did I say "interesting lives?" Oops...
Yeah, so that's not the greatest example. No doubt, the residents of the Daniels home are all recovering from the excitement of last post, where they all went out on the town hunting for guys and failing miserably. Nobody seemed to be having any luck in the romance department (besides Regina, who's already married to Jack), and Debbie decided that if everyone was going to be sitting around at home, they should at very least invite some company over to do it with them (by "do it", I mean "sit", you perv). While Austyn and Debbie have met some colorful people on the road of life, Debbie decided to give the folks down at Sims Dump #1 a buzz. After all, everyone else seemed to have jobs and couldn't be bothered to skip a day to come visit the Daniels home…yeesh…


Reavis: "We want Amy! We want Amy!"
I don't know why Reavis and Alec are thinking of Amy Andrews in that picture. She wasn't at the house at the time or anything. Maybe it's like when sims try to use that machine to reprogram themselves and it fails, and all they think about is grilled cheese. Dunno'…it's just what happens (guess she's just one of those sims whose always on people's minds, even those who've never met her). Anyway, all of the Fitch family showed up, though I'm not sure how many of the Sim Dump gang not related to the Fitches decided to come. Here, we see Rooster, Reavis, and Gia hogging the couch. Funny - Debbie invites them over so they can sit around together, then when they do show up, everyone bolts.


Rooster: "So, like, who even lives here, anyway?"
I'm not really sure where everyone was. Either at the dart board up in Austyn's room (formerly Vyn Daniels' room before she grew up and moved out), one of the PC's in the house, or using the hot tub or bar. The points of interest in the Daniels house are very few. Actually, that's a lie, there's quite a bit to do around the house, it's just that sims have very limited interests. At any rate, Debbie eventually wandered back into the living room and said hello. Maybe it took a moment for folks to recognize her, because the response was minimal at first. I checked in on Debbie a bit later, though, and she was in the bathroom with Gia. Gia at least seemed happy to see her…maybe a bit TOO happy.


Debbie: "Oof! You've put on a few pounds, haven't you?"
I guess Gia just never got over her accidental crush on Debbie, and the "leap into arms" hug resulted in a little puff of red hearts above both Debbie and Gia's heads. Silly Gia - she should know that Debbie has eyes only for Regina. Speaking of Regina, while everyone else was having a gay old time, she found herself wishing her man, Jack, would spend a little more time around the homestead. As if in answer to her unspoken wish, Jack's carpool arrived moments later and dumped him on the curb. Jack came bearing good news - he'd been promoted to elementary school teacher! I'm sure all the kids love to hear Jack's tales of his old pirating days, minus a few of the more colorful details, of course.


Er…Jack, that's Regina you're waving to, not Amy...
Jack was pretty excited about the promotion. Ever since he met Regina and gave up his life of crime, he'd been wanting to make a positive difference in people's lives, and while being a successful chef was okay, filling people's stomachs just wasn't as satisfying as filling their brains, which the teaching career was allowing him to do. Sure, it seemed like he'd been spending all of his time at work or studying to improve his job related skills, but it was all paying off in the end. Of course, with everything going so well, the tombstones in the back yard began to serve as a reminder of less glamorous days. Jack could often be found standing by them, thinking of the individuals he and Clarence were responsible for disposing of, either intentionally or accidentally.


Ghost: "Hey, what about me…your old pal, Felmer?!"
Jack wasn't the only sim with bodies buried in his back yard. There'd been a few accidents here and there around town, resulting in several families getting stuck with unwanted tombstones or urns on their property, and they just couldn't bring themselves to sell them and make a few bucks off the death of somebody else's loved one. Of course, the usual reward for their compassion was having a ghost wandering around on their property terrorizing them whenever possible, which just doesn't seem fair. When people like Reeve wanted to visit their departed friend or relative, they'd have to visit the house where they died, assuming it was a convenient time for the residents. Just not a really great setup.


Reeve: "I shall avenge Lawrence…with this water balloon!"
Well, Jack has made a pretty decent sum of money in his day, and the $20,000 he got for each sim he permitted to live with him didn't hurt either. He got to thinking about how he didn't really want tombstones in his back yard anymore (if indeed he ever did), and it seemed that since several of the sims he'd housed had died while living there, perhaps their money should be put toward a good cause. Thus, Jack invested a moderate sum into establishing the Silent Grove Cemetery, final resting place for unwanted back yard sim tombstones. It wasn't long before every family in the neighborhood moved any tombstones they had sitting around to the cemetery. Apparently everyone else was thinking the same way Jack was.


The barbecue grills are just an added bonus...
Obviously, it just makes good sense to have a cemetery in town, especially if people keep dying. Quite unexpected, though, was the large amount of traffic the cemetery got. Folks showed up in droves to hang around out front by the barbecues and chat and grill hot dogs and have water balloon fights. Every now and then, someone would actually walk among the gravestones, presumably looking for a loved one, but usually, it was just party central. I'm just not sure everyone quite got the point of the place. You may find that odd, but we're talking about the same neighborhood where the people didn't seem to be able to grasp the concept of a "public pool". This from sims who can easily find their way through a maze on the very first try if you put them on one end and click for them to move to the exit…


Debbie: "I just love this park, but what's with all the stone tablets?"
It appeared that Jack's plan had worked - everyone had easy access to their deceased loved ones, and a place to hang out and throw water balloons at each other to boot. The fringe benefit of all of it was that Jack was free of the guilt of the tombstones in his own back yard once and for all, and everything seemed right with the world. However, into every life, a little rain must fall, and with that rain, a little lightning usually falls as well. We don't like lightning. It's noisy and catches stuff on fire, and is the number one cause of death in Riverblossom Hills. That having been said, one night, while wandering outside the house in the rain, Jack was struck down in a flash of lighting that would have been spectacular if it wasn't so horrific…


Somehow, it was a lot funnier when it happened to the Grinch...
It took everyone on the property a moment to realize just what had happened, but when they realized Jack was dead, they sprung into action. The ironic thing is that they were all in the hot tub, which is usually the first target for lightning during a storm, but Jack had had the good sense to put the hot tub under Vyn's room, which stuck out from the main house. At any rate, Regina scrambled to try to plead with the reaper, but it just didn't happen. He'd either decided he wasn't going to pay attention to her, or Debbie's butt was blocking her from getting to him or something, or they'd just taken too long to get out of the hot tub. Whatever the case, the pleading never happened. The time had come for poor Captain Jack.


Austyn: "Nooooo! Don't take Jack! Take Debbie instead!"
Well, there's a some bitter irony to the timing of this. Jack JUST got done putting together a cemetery for other sims that had passed on, and then this happens. Not to mention the fact that he'd JUST finally come to terms with his past and managed to move on. I guess if you're going to "go", it might as well happen after you have everything straightened out, but it still sucks. While the death of most of the other sims in the neighborhood sucked, most of them didn't have nearly the friends and family that Jack did, and it seemed necessary for everyone to get together to honor him. His daughter Vyn, son-in-law Aiden, and good friends, Clarence and Amy Andrews showed up for the event. As mayor, Clarence lead things off, followed by some words from his widow, Regina.


"He's gone too soon it seems…leaving behind his unfinished dreams..."
On the up side, it was the first time that Aiden, Vyn, Clarence, Amy, and Regina had been together for quite a while, and ironically, it was classified as a "family reunion" and a positive thing in the memories of those sims. Well, even though Jack had constructed the Silent Grove Cemetery while he was still alive, the family decided they'd rather keep Jack around the house in "urn form" rather than have to visit the cemetery to see him (the cemetery is literally right next door to their house, so that's a little lazy on their parts). And so, the urn stayed in the house. As interesting as it would be to have a "pirate ghost" wander the house, though, Jack never bothered anyone, he just stayed bottled up (I supposed it's too early to make a reference to a "bottle of Jack Daniels", but I can't help myself).


Amy: "Let me know if you want me to change the channel, Jack."
Well, sims come and go in the Monkeesim world, but the passing of Jack Daniels was the first death that truly sucked, not only because of all the time I'd invested in him since the very beginning of the neighborhood, but because it really bummed out his friends and family for a while. However, the show must go on, and I assure you it does. Farewell, Captain Jack…there will never be another. Up next, Jack may be gone, but the residents of his home aren't. Will Regina find love again? Will ANY of the sims in the house find love at all? Will the ghost of Jack ever show his face (or nose)? Join us next time, as we search for answers to these questions!