Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Claire Affair

Welcome back, everyone - hope you had a nice, long weekend! We had a three day weekend at my job, which I badly needed (especially after my first week back to work from a two week vacation). For those of you who didn't get that extra day off, well, I hope it was nice and long anyway. I've got some news that's both good and bad, depending on how you look at it. Thanks to lots of extra overtime required at my job currently, and general craziness due to an upcoming move on my part, I haven't been able to play the Sims much lately, and I'm not sure how much internet access I'll have a few weeks from now. Thus, I have a total of 30 posts yet to be posted before I'll have to call it a wrap for the time being. Sure, that kind of sucks to have to stop again, but it will take a while to post all that stuff, so it's too early to worry about that.

Our last post celebrated the marriage of Moon Dawg and Keri Marley, and followed them along for the ceremony and reception that took place on both Leon's boat and at Marty's (the bar, not Marty Wilson's trailer). It was indeed a joyous occasion. Well, as we revisit Leon at the Love Boat, we find that things are not quite so joyous. See, Debbie Kearney started to grow tired of waiting to hear from Leon for weeks, and decided to come looking for him.

Debbie: "Open up, Leon! I can SEE you in there!"

Yeah, if you're going for privacy, it probably isn't a very good idea to have a door with a pair of big circular windows on it leading into your main room. Last time Debbie and Leon were together, their relationship was maxed out in all respects, meaning Debbie is one of those sims with a tendency to enter a house and start hanging out even without an invite (just like a real best friend). When she found the door to Leon's cabin locked, she was a little irritated. When she looked through the portholes that clearly showed into Leon's room, though, she was furious to find Leon's new girlfriend Claire hanging out in there with him. Leon, however, remained unconcerned.

Leon: "Ah, don't worry about it. I think it's just the maid..."

Yes, by this point, Leon had all but forgotten about Debbie. It's been so long since he had any interaction with her. Meanwhile, she was stuck at Sim Dump #1 hanging out with the Fitches and other weirdoes waiting for his call…it's no wonder she's a little irritated. Well, Leon was eventually reminded of who Debbie was, and it seemed the locked door was the only thing standing between him and certain death at Debbie's hands. The locked door that was unexpectedly unlocked by Moon Dawg, who had such access, and needed to use the bathroom on the upper deck. Oops…nice knowing you there, Leon!

Claire: "Ooh…I can't watch! Did he smear my lip gloss?"

Debbie wasted no time smacking the crap out of Leon, while he just stood there looking sort of dumb (and sort of like a punching bag with a really bad suit). Meanwhile, Claire, thoroughly confused, ran out onto the deck to escape the chaos. See, the problem here is that not only did Leon not tell Debbie about Claire, but Debbie was nowhere around when Claire and Leon hooked up, and she assumed he was single. In this case, her assuming just made an @$$ out of Leon, not Claire. Claire collected her thoughts a little bit, then decided to vent her frustrations with the whole situation where they belonged…on Debbie (I never said Claire was the most reasonable of sims).

Claire: "I stole him fair and square, you hussy!"

After a serious bout of boob poking, Debbie eventually left, and things settled down just a bit. Something awakened in Leon a sudden realization (maybe it was the beating to the head he took from Debbie) that he wouldn't be a "chick magnet" forever, and perhaps he should settle down and make a long term commitment while he still had options. Perhaps his buddy Moon Dawg's recent wedding had some sort of influence on him. Whatever the case, Leon quickly pulled out the decorations they'd used for Moon Dawg and Keri's wedding, and informed Claire of his decision that they should be married that afternoon. Well, afternoon came, and Moon Dawg, Keri, and Moon Unit showed up in their formal wear. However, besides the guests who weren't invited to begin with, someone else was conspicuously absent…

Leon: "Uh…say, anyone seen Claire?"

Oops. Boy, that sucks! Sorry, Leon. Either Claire isn't the shotgun wedding type, or she simply needed time to sort things out…or maybe she was still angry at Leon for neglecting to mention the whole Debbie thing and wasn't in a marrying mood. Whatever the case, Leon got left at the "alter", something he'd never have imagined would happen to him in his wildest dreams (maybe to someone he was supposed to get married to, but never to him). Meanwhile, at an undisclosed location somewhere in the Monkeesim neighborhood, an evil looking old guy sat at his evil computer, hatching evil schemes and plotting ways to make peoples' lives miserable…and evil, of course.

Old Guy: "I could really go for an evil grilled cheese right about now!"

This old guy was none other than Falco Madrox, senior C.U.S.S. (Criminal Underground Secret Service, for those of you with short memories) agent. See, after Jack Daniels and Clarence Andrews quit C.U.S.S., Lawrence and Reeve Madrox stepped in to fill their shoes. When Lawrence died unexpectedly, Reeve lost much of his "edge", and spent most of his time milling around or partying downtown instead of perpetuating evil or making people miserable. Falco had been keeping an eye on things from afar, and decided it was time for him to step in and oversee things personally. And so, Falco and Reeve sat at their evil PC's in the evil C.U.S.S. headquarters, and plotted evil schemes together. Or tried to, anyhow.

Falco: "We could blow up this mountain…if we had some explosives…and knew where the mountain was..."

So, what does ANY of this have to do with Debbie, Claire, and Leon? Quit being so dang impatient, and I'll TELL you! Just kidding. Anyway, as it happens, Claire left Leon's boat so she could walk around a bit and clear her head and get some perspective. She wasn't certain she wasn't interested in getting married at some point, but the circumstances under which Leon wanted it to happen definitely didn't suit her tastes. And Leon wasn't quite the "catch" she'd thought he was anymore. About the time Claire was passing the secret C.U.S.S. headquarters, Reeve had decided he'd had enough evil for the moment, and was stepping out for some air. And so, the two met once more (the first time was last post, when Reeve was looking at her boobs).

Reeve: "Permit me to save you from this terrible beast, fair lady..."

Claire was feeling a tad flustered, obviously, and while stewing about Leon had it's therapeutic benefits, she was open to finding a distraction from thinking about him if possible. Now, when she last met Reeve, it was in a noisy bar out on the dance floor, they'd both had a few drinks, and he appeared to be looking at her boobs. Not a great first impression. This time, though, on a clear, quiet day, with her head all mixed up inside, she took the time to assess him better. For starters, she found him attractive (at least I'm assuming that's what the little cloud of hearts over her head meant), so she decided to take a break from being mad at Leon and engage him in conversation. They talked for a while, and hit it off quite well, despite the fact that Claire wasn't really dressed for walking or long outdoor conversations in the dead of winter…

Reeve: "I do indeed resemble a famous actor...Richard Dreyfuss!"

Well, the attraction was a mutual one, and before long, Claire had totally forgotten about Leon, and was enamored with the dashing stranger she'd just met. Likewise, Reeve had completely forgotten about being evil and planning evil deeds in his evil house - he was smitten with Claire. The fact that Claire was engaged to Leon still could be viewed as something of a problem, but was by far the least of the pair's worries. Reeve was so busy wooing the charming Claire, he paid no notice to the fact that his evil mentor, Falco, had decided to take a break himself, and had taken notice of what Reeve was doing. Needless to say, he was less than thrilled about what he was witnessing…

Private eyes…are watching you…watching your every move...

Well, at first, the attraction between Reeve and Claire was subtle, only noticeable to them and the highly trained eyes of Falco. However, in certain situations, it's easy to forget one's self, and while Claire had just been through her traumatic situation with Debbie and Leon, Reeve was no stranger to tragedy himself. After all, he'd recently lost his partner in crime, had a little taste of freedom from C.U.S.S., then been sucked right back in by his evil mentor, and put to work twice as hard as before. Both Claire and Reeve were looking for something, and that something was a little lovin'. So much for subtle. If Falco was unhappy about Reeve and Claire chatting, just imagine how he feels about them playing tonsil-hockey out on the front walk (especially since Reeve's presence outside is a potential giveaway for the location of the "top secret" C.U.S.S. headquarters).

Reeve: "My dear, you are indeed a most excellent kisser…"

Well, that was pretty much the beginning of the end for Claire and Leon's relationship, not that Leon knew anything about it. He was probably still standing at the alter in his tux at this point, convinced that there was no possible way a "chick" would pass up the chance to marry him. For all his time spent with women, Leon sure has a lot to learn, eh? Anyway, despite the intriguing prospect of their newfound romance, Reeve was aware that it could be a dangerous one for Claire if Falco found out about it. Little did he know. Claire decided to leave for the time being, and while she was still a little bit confused about some things, she was fairly certain on one point - she had fallen for Reeve. Reeve went back inside the headquarters, only to be confronted by an angry Falco, who was all too aware of what had transpired between him and Claire.

Falco: "How are we supposed to take over the world if you're mixed up with some crazy dame?!"

Falco was fully aware of the toll that love had taken on C.U.S.S. in just the very recent past. Clarence and Jack had both gone from being successful agents to family men thanks to the influence of women, and good C.U.S.S. agents were hard to find (whether or not Reeve still qualified as such is debatable anyway). At any rate, he wasn't taking any chances. He did his best to try to talk some sense to Reeve first, and when that didn't seem to be working, resorted to pulling rank and being nasty about the whole thing. Unfortunately for Falco, Reeve is nothing if not stubborn. He may not be the best at being evil, but he could go head to head with any mule and probably come out on top (not sure that really made sense there, but it's early). Reeve made no mystery of the fact that he wasn't about to give up his newfound love so easily, despite Falco's objections.

Reeve: "I have indeed thought through the consequences of my actions..."

Well, Reeve may be crappy at doing evil, but Falco had plenty of experience, and decided that if he couldn't reason with Reeve or scare him into seeing things his way, he'd simply have to take matters into his own hands. Offing Claire seemed a little bit extreme, despite the C.U.S.S. history of doing such things when necessary. Falco decided on a less extreme plan. Behind the C.U.S.S. headquarters, there was a greenhouse with indestructible glass, and Falco put a toilet, a TV, a fridge, and not much else out there to turn it into a perfect little "holding cell" where he could keep Claire. He hadn't really thought too far past that part of the plan, but it seemed inevitable that with no garbage can in the "cell", the flies would take care of her sooner or later. What an evil bastard!

All the comforts of home…a really, really, crappy home...

Well, obviously, this isn't the end of the story, but it's the end for now…with many unanswered questions. Will Falco trap Claire in his evil greenhouse prison? Will Reeve give up on the idiotic notion of love in the name of living up to his evil destiny with C.U.S.S.? What will become of Leon and Claire's relationship? Will Debbie ever forgive Leon for lying to her? These questions and more will be answered in our next post. Stay tuned as we begin our 30 day countdown before our next scheduled break from Monkeesims. See you next time!


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