The Secret of Pimp Harbor

Okay, well, I'm back from a two week vacation, and this whole typing thing alone is a real challenge for me. I was more or less without any sort of computer access for that whole time, so I've forgotten how to type, and I smashed my index finger in a pair of pliers yesterday, which isn't really helping matters much. The best part is that even as I become accustomed to the whole typing thing once again, I've totally forgotten how to do the work for which I'm paid. Guess that one better come back to me sooner rather than later, eh? lol

Pardon me, but I had to look back a bit and see where we left off last time. From the looks of things, we had been visiting with the Jackson family and then had a little side-stop with the Sim Dump post. In just a short period of time, Moon Dawg found himself a girlfriend in the form of Keri James, contracted lycanthropy from Tommy Wolf, and was abducted by aliens when we very last saw him. Talk about keeping busy. The most Leon managed to accomplish during this time was having his girl Debbie Kearney move off the boat, after which he smooched a bit with Claire Redmond. Talk about NOT keeping busy. As we rejoin the Pimp Harbor gang, we find Keri reading Moon Dawg's copy of "Beyond Belief", probably trying to better understand the whole abduction thing…


Keri: "What the…there's a picture of you in here!"
Aside from the information on the topic of abduction found in "Beyond Belief" (along with a generous helping of articles on the ghost of Elvis, Bigfoot, and Alligator Man), nobody really knew what to expect as a result of the whole abduction thing. Moon Dawg did a lot of sobbing for no good reason, but no giant satellite dish unfolded out of his rear end, he hadn't gained any personality points, and no nasty chest-buster showed up to reveal itself at the dinner table. It seemed Moon Dawg was entirely unaffected by the experience. Well, that changed eventually, as he suddenly began puking on a regular basis. Even then, everyone just assumed it was probably a lingering case of "saucer sickness"…aliens are notoriously bad drivers…


Keri: "Just remember to flush when you're done in there!"
Well, it didn't take Moon Dawg long to realize that he'd been knocked up during his little extraterrestrial joy ride. Luckily, he had no real memory of the actual "impregnation", although you can imagine it probably wasn't pretty (let's just hope they at least got him drunk beforehand). Moon Dawg eventually broke the news to everyone, and Keri and Leon seemed to take it in stride. There's enough weird stuff going on in the sim world from day to day, so an alien pregnant werewolf was just another cherry atop the weirdness sundae. Keri's acceptance made a big impression on Moon Dawg, though. He knew it's not easy finding a girl easy going enough to just accept stuff like that and move on, and decided he'd better not let her get away…


Keri: "Oh, yes! I'd kiss you, but I didn't see you brush your teeth!"
And so, Moon Dawg and Keri were officially engaged. It seems all that time Moon Dawg spent flying solo back in the day wasn't because of a lack of interest in females, it just took some time to find someone as "devil may care" as himself. Moon Dawg and Keri toasted their engagement out on the deck, and Leon was quick to join them (not that he needs an excuse to drink). Oh, and Claire Redmond, who was still hanging around the boat somewhere (in the hot tub, judging by the bathing suit) decided to toast them too, not that she really knew either one of them that well. She was probably just thinking about the fact that she was spending most of her time on a boat with a werewolf, and it never hurts to suck up a little and get on their good side if you don't want to get savaged…


Moon Dawg: "…and thanks, guys, for keeping the butt-probing jokes to a minimum!"
Moon Dawg is a knowledge sim, believe it or not, and while he dreamed of becoming a werewolf ever since he first met Tommy, there was a slight problem with the whole arrangement. You see, Moon Dawg is all about being nice and easy going, and being a werewolf for any length of time eats away at those "niceness" points. Moon Dawg decided he just wasn't cool wit dat, especially if he was going to be fathering an alien baby and eventually getting married. And so, he called up the matchmaker and got his paws on a lycanthropy antidote. It takes a real man to give up growing fur and fangs every night at 8pm for the sake of an alien baby and country gal fiancé, but that's Moon Dawg for ya…


Moon Dawg: You sure grape is the only flavor you've got?"
One thing that really sucks about that werewolf cure potion is if the affected person drinks it while they're not transformed, nobody with the aspiration for that person to be cured gets that fulfilled - took me a while to realize that. Anyway, Leon began to anticipate a problem looming on the horizon. See, he was okay with Moon Dawg sleeping on a recliner in the kitchen, and him living on a shack on the deck was okay too. Things had started getting a little weird when Leon had to start sleeping in the recliner, though, and with Kareem's baby on the way, there seemed to be potential for some serious overcrowding. Thus, it seemed time for Leon to reveal to his good friend the best kept secret of his pimptacular boat…


Presenting the Love Boat's top secret lower deck!
Yes, you heard right…a lower deck. It seems that all this time Leon had been struggling to cram everyone into the upstairs main cabin, it was merely to preserve the secrecy of his lower level pimp-lair, complete with full size bathroom, chess table, poker table, bedroom with wall-mounted TV, bowling alley, and much more. Suddenly, having a little space to himself seemed more important than having a pimped-out lair nobody knew about, and he was eager to reclaim the cabin on the upper deck. Thus, Leon granted Moon Dawg and Keri full use of the lair's facilities, with the understanding that he'd be allowed to bowl or play poker whenever he wanted still…


Moon Dawg: "There's no roller rink down here? This place sucks, mon!"
Well, the lower deck came as a nice surprise to Moon Dawg and Keri, and they were more than happy to give Leon back control of the main cabin. It did occur to Leon a time or two that he might be giving himself the short end of the stick by keeping the less exciting part of the ship for himself, but he did get the part with the bar and hot tub, which is all he really needed. Those were, after all, his primary womanizing tools. Sure, the bowling alley and poker table could serve the same purpose, but not nearly as effectively. Leon was experiencing some mild confusion trying to decide what to do about the Claire/Debbie situation. Debbie was, technically, still his girlfriend, but the only girl he'd had over to hang around since Debbie moved out was Claire, and he was starting to grow attached…


Leon deeply contemplates the possibility of turning the lights on...
Leon and Moon Dawg had always been good friends, even back in the days when Steve and Doris lived with them and Steve got mad at Leon for futzing up his marriage. Moon Dawg remained friends with both parties even then. Unfortunately, any real relationship takes some work and time commitment (a little Dr Phil advice from me to you), and since Moon Dawg was interested in having such a relationship, he spent a great deal of time with Keri below deck, leaving Leon to his own devices. Well, Leon is a social creature, and Claire wasn't able to spend 100% of her time hanging around with him, so often, the only device he seemed to be left with was the TV. Guess he didn't notice the two empty chairs at the poker table, where Moon Dawg and Keri spent most of their time...


Moon Dawg: "How about a little Caribbean stud, babe?"
Seriously, I think all adult sims come with a built in drinking and gambling addiction. If you don't believe me, build your sims a luxury home with every possible form of recreational object, make sure there's a bar and poker table, then let them loose and see what they do. Drinking and cards. At any rate, it's nice that Moon Dawg and Keri were at least doing those things together. It served as a nice distraction from the strange events that had recently taken place in Moon Dawg's life. Unfortunately, the worst was yet to come. One evening, while the couple was engrossed in their nightly gambling ritual, Moon Dawg suddenly stood up, spun around, and sat down again, clothed in the most hideous maternity garb I'd ever witnessed. Being alien pregnant is scary enough, but this…you have to admit this is just making things worse…


Keri: "I'm just not so sure the pink sweatpants are really you..."
So much for the alien abduction not having any harmful visible side effects. Moon Dawg tried in vain a few times to change his outfit, but to no avail…it would be the pink sweats until the alien child was born. There goes his "monhood". Meanwhile, Leon was beginning to read something into the fact that he hadn't called or seen Debbie since she moved off the boat, and was spending all his time with Claire. Perhaps his bond with his former maid wasn't as strong as he'd once thought (although, she does make a mean blended margarita). Debbie and Leon had good chemistry, but her uptight response toward having Moon Dawg on the boat was sort of a turn off for Leon. And so, it seemed, Debbie was out, and Claire was "the one"…for the moment, anyhow.


Once again, the leopard spotted bathrobe works it's magic...
I'm not what you'd call an expert on dating multiple females at roughly the same time, but I can tell you that switching to a new girl without telling the previous one anything about it is a bad idea. Leon Jackson and "good judgment" aren't exactly synonymous, though, in case you couldn't tell that by his wardrobe or interior decorating tastes. Whatever his feelings for Claire, he really should have brought Debbie up to speed on things. Ah, well. Claire had no knowledge of Leon's relationship with Debbie, so I guess it's only fair. Up next, there are a few pregnant sims in the neighborhood and some with kids we haven't checked in on a bit, so we'll see how they're doing next time around. Intrigued? I didn't think you would be. Well, tough…join us next time anyhow! :-P