Heck Freezes Over

Grrrrr…what a frustrating day. And it's not even 9:30 yet! If you ever want to teach yourself the meaning of patience (or irritation), simply get a job that involves calling "customer service" numbers or automated "help lines" for any portion of the day, and you'll be thoroughly frazzled by the time the day is done. My day has just begun, and already I'm ready to throw my PC monitor out the window and put my hard drive in a suplex. Maybe I have anger management issues, but I'm too tired and crabby to worry about that right now.

I sure hope I can do justice to the post for today. Now that life's got me all crabby and stuff, I'm not feeling terribly wordy, witty, or any of those other positive emotions. I just want to get out of this stupid place for the day and say "buck" it all. But the "show" must go on, and so it shall. So let's see, what were we covering today anyway? Oh, yeah…Leon Jackson. Last time we really focused on the Jacksons, Leon found himself dumped by his fiance, Claire, but his mail carrier, Kerrie Bradshaw, came by to deliver a little TLC while Leon was at his lowest. After a brief courtship, Leon proposed to Kerrie, and since Leon is "the man" (or at least he used to be), of course she said yes. Nothing changed much after the engagement, the couple usually just sat around on Leon's bed and chatted. Man, they're not even married yet, and already life has become a bore!


Kerrie: "So, what time does Conan O'Brien come on?"
Okay, that was a cheap shot at married life there, but I get to make them from time to time, being that I'm married, and seeing as how I've experienced the dip in excitement that occurs after it happens (I've been told it's not just me it happens to). Really, the whole boredom thing had a lot to do with Leon trying to adapt to life without hitting on women. He was cool with the whole monogamy thing as long as it was with the right woman, but there was no denying that he missed the thrill of the chase, and seeing how many different females he could get away with "seeing" at the same time. If that's what he was hung up on, he must have forgotten his first recorded TS2 dating experience, when he flopped miserably at the Freetime Lounge before getting into a fight with Tommy Wolf.


Leon: "How did we get…oh, wait, it's a flashback..."
Yeah, that was also when he went on his blind date with Kerrie Bradshaw where she ditched him after five minutes because he was boring. Good thing he still made some sort of an impression, or we might not be where we are now, and Leon would probably still be sitting in a chair outside his boat, stinking to high heaven. Anyway, things were anything but boring for the rest of the harbor crew. Moon Unit had grown into a toddler, and Moon Dawg and Keri had their hands full trying to teach her all the toddler skills as quickly as possible. Let's face it - children are unpredictable to start with, and who knows what to expect with an alien child? It just made good sense to make sure she was as well trained as possible to get a jump on anything unusual…


Moon Dawg: "Once we master walking, we'll see if you can fly…"
The good thing for Leon about living with Moon Dawg and Keri is that in addition to being easy going, they didn't really care who he dated, they greeted all his girls with open arms (and the realization that he'd likely move on to someone else by the time they got attached). Leon getting engaged to Claire had come as sort of a surprise. Leon breaking up with Claire afterward did not. Just the same, Moon Dawg and Keri believed that sooner or later, Leon would settle down with someone, even if neither of them would be alive to see it. Kerrie seemed to be a good influence on Leon, and after a while, she still hadn't shown any interest in any shady looking sims in black dusters.


Moon Dawg: "She may be good for Leon, but she bowls just like my granny, mon!"
Kerrie was a serious social type, and she actually preferred to hang out below deck where the action was instead of sitting in the cabin topside watching the TV or sitting on the bed. It wasn't long before she could usually be found at the poker table or bowling alley, and Leon usually tagged along with her, resulting in he and Kerrie hanging out with Moon Dawg and Keri (sheesh…there's that Keri/Kerrie thing again). This was good for Moon Unit too, because that meant there was always someone around to keep an eye on her and give her attention when desired. And we all know the old saying about how it takes a ship full of weirdoes to raise an alien (or something like that).


Leon: "Hey…I SEE you trying to deal off the bottom!"
Ow. I just bit my lip, and I wasn't even chewing or eating anything. That's right on par with when I occasionally get some of my own saliva down the wrong pipe when I'm not even eating, and start having coughing fits. I think I qualify for some sort of stupidity award for those talents alone. Anyway, having committed to just one woman didn't mean Leon had to give up all his womanizing habits, it just meant he had to restrict them to one female, and he seemed to be okay with that. After all, with all the abuse he'd taken in recent past from females who were angry about being dumped or mistreated, sticking to just one and NOT getting beaten up seemed like a nice alternative. Plus, Kerrie had special qualities that Leon was growing quite fond of…


Leon: "I just want you to know I'm totally okay with the whole naked in the hot tub thing!"
Aside from his disastrous first blind date with Kerrie, and a visit to Da Tiki Hut with Debbie (and Moon Dawg…don't forget Moon Dawg), it's long been Leon's practice to limit his womanizing to the love boat. After all, the boat is full of various forms of free entertainment, not to mention it's Leon's "home base", and there's a certain comfort that comes with that. However, Leon had long ago decided that Kerrie wasn't "just any chick", and as much as Leon doesn't actually know about women vs. what he thinks he knows, he did figure out that the time had come to do something special to celebrate their having lasted so long together (it may not seem like that long to you folks, but trust me - it's been a while). Thus, Leon swapped out his regular duds for his pink tux, reserved only for special occasions (such as drinks on the deck on Friday night or attempted marriages).


Kerrie: "Why, Leon…your tux is so…so…pink!"
Now, I confess that I bought my expansions in a screwed up order. It started with me getting TS2, Seasons, and Pets all at once, so I began my TS2 life with community lots available within my neighborhood. That was what I got used to - a quick drive to any of the local lots when I felt the need. Later, I purchased Night Life, and while Downtown had it's cool points, the load time just wasn't always worth what the clubs and stuff downtown had to offer. Then, I got Open for Business a while later, and fell in love with Bluewater Village and businesses run by my sims. In other words, the Downtown area has been mostly ignored by my sims. Leon decided it was time to explore a little, though, and see what it had to offer. The first thing is had to offer was Jimmy Jones, angry at Kerrie for being with another guy when he thought they had something special together. Well, think again, buster!


All that mail bag toting has given Kerrie tremendous smacking power...
In case you're wondering what Jimmy has to do with this, look back on the "Keeping up with the Joneses" post. No time to recap, Dr. Jones! After Kerrie smacked around Jimmy enough to dislodge any misconceptions from his head about who she was dating, she found Leon, who had been keeping a safe distance from the confrontation. Way to protect your woman there, Leon! Kerrie was actually in much better shape than Leon anyway, and really didn't need his help, but it would have been nice for him to at least pretend to jump to the rescue. At any rate, Leon noticed a fine looking restaurant loaded with trees and cacti and other plants, and decided to give it a whirl. The establishment was dedicated to protecting the environment, and if there's one thing that Leon really cares about, it's the ecology. Wait…I mean it's chicks.


Leon: "You really impressed me the way you beat up Jimmy earlier!"
Aside from the dining experience, there didn't turn out to be a whole lot else to the place aside from looking at plants (and I don't need to tell you any more than you already know about Leon I'm sure for you to realize that's not his bag). It didn't matter, though - the outing was one of Leon and Kerrie's first chances to be alone together off the boat, and it was working it's magic. After ample amounts of flirting and telling dirty jokes, Leon attempted to put soap in the fountain, but failed due to a strategically placed moat. The couple decided to head back to the boat, where quite unexpectedly, Leon suggested he and Kerrie be wed in a secret ceremony out on the deck. I guess since Leon owns the boat, that sort of makes him a captain, and captains are supposed to be able to perform marriages, but this might be stretching it a little. Regardless of the odd circumstances, Kerrie agreed, and thus, the impossible happened…Leon Jackson was wed.


Leon: "Perhaps later we can celebrate over a fish sandwich!"
Werewolves, vampires, plant sims, alien abductions…of all the odd things in the Monkeesim neighborhood, Leon Jackson getting married is by far the strangest yet. It was inevitable, though, because besides the local gardener, Leon had already tried to hit on pretty much every woman in the neighborhood at one point or the other, and he wasn't going to find better than Kerrie any time soon. Well, good luck, Leon…we hope to never hear you refer to this happy event as your "first marriage". We'll leave the happy couple for now. Up next, you think the Jackson family and their "house boat" are strange, there's even stranger out there yet. Plus, some familiar faces from the TS1 days of this blog put down roots in the new neighborhood. Don't miss it…or you'll be sorry!