Death and Disaster: Part III

Welcome back to MonkeeSims, and the last of a three part series of posts following the Jackons down the road to ruin. So far, the family has fallen apart socially through a series of disagreements with one another, lost their beloved parrot through neglect, and most recently, suffered the loss of not only Steve Jackson, but the precious hot tub as well! Will they ever recover from the trauma? Well, read on if you want to know!

Where we left off, Steve had just become a crispy critter as a result of a fire he started on his barbecue. Doris managed to extinguish the grill, but no such luck with Steve. It looked like the family was just going to let the grim reaper take Steve without a fight, but at the last minute, Doris returned to the light side of the force (or something like that), and plead with the reaper to spare him. At the end of the last post, we were awaiting the reaper's decision...and Doris lost the game of rock-paper-scissors...

Reaper: "Hah! I was the rock-paper-scissors champ back in college, babe!"

Well after much painful anticipation, it turned out that the plea for Steve's life hadn't totally fallen on deaf ears (does the reaper have ears?). The reaper decided it wasn't Steve's day to go, but it also wasn't his day to come back as a normal human being. Instead, he returned as personality-free zombie Steve. Well, Steve never had all that much personality to begin with, so aside from the fact that he'll be meaner than usual and never pick up after himself, little changed.

Doris: "Don't just stand there like a zombie! Help put out the fire!"

Zombie Steve had no interest in helping quench the flames, but the fireman had finally arrived, and was doing an admirable job of putting out what little of the blaze was left. Steve just went wandering around the house doing not much of anything. Not much, until he wandered around the front of the house and found Henri LeStanc occupying the front yard. Well, the results were pretty predictable...

Henri activates his "anti-zombie defense system"...

Poor Steve...first he loses his girl, then he dies, then he comes back as a zombie and gets sprayed by a skunk. Try as I might, I can't imagine how you could possibly be more of a loser than that. While Steve was busy making things worse for himself, Doris and "Moon Dawg" were trying to improve their situation by sweeping up the seemingly endless piles of ash on the patio. Not the most fun in the world, but at least it gave them something to do in absence of the hot tub.

Doris: "No more hot tub...NOW what are we supposed to do?"

In the midst of all the ash-sweeping fun, Doris noticed Steve looking a little dejected (you probably would too if you'd been through all he has). She headed over and gave him a great big hug, as if to say, "I'm sorry I made out with your best friend and then ditched you for him like a dirty tramp!" Well, I'm sure the hug meant something like that. Whatever the case, choosing Steve in his current condition over Leon shows the power of true love.

Doris: "I love you, Steve...even if you are a zombie who smells like they got sprayed by a skunk..."

That cheered Steve up a bit, and our story could have just ended there on a happy note. However, that's not where it all ends. "Moon Dawg" took pity on Steve as well, and decided that even though Steve had booted him off the couch, he deserved better than spending the rest of his "life" as a member of the undead. It was then that "Moon Dawg" proposed a daring plan that might be able to help change Steve's luck a bit...

Kareem: "Hey, mon...I know this kooky old lady who lives in Old Town..."

The pair piled into one of the Old Town shuttles, and headed off to the Gothic section, where "Moon Dawg" had connections...apparently (he must have gone there on his own time while I was away from the PC, because I sure never sent him there). It was there that he introduced Steve to the kooky old lady, whose name I can't remember. She was all too happy to take their money, and although all she did was hold hands with "Moon Dawg", Steve was magically cured.

Steve: "Now if I can just wash off the skunk smell, I'll be as good as new!"

Though the pair had accomplished their mission, they took advantage of the fact that they were out of the house by doing a little souvenir shopping before they left. Of course, the selection consisted of a bunch of weird junk like skull shaped candles and ceremonial masks, for which the family had absolutely no use, but no matter. Steve bought some sort of strange fertility mask thing, which he kept in his pocket forever after. What exactly do you do with a fertility mask, anyway? Scratch that...I don't want to know.

Steve: "Hmmm...it's hard to know what to buy to commemorate someone reviving you from being a zombie..."

Well, the pair headed home, Steve took a shower, and everything was almost back to normal. The fire had totally destroyed the hot tub and train set, and Leon was forced to shell out a huge amount of money he didn't have to replace it, which was fitting punishment for his poor behavior in stealing his friend's girl. Leon agreed to try to leave Doris alone in a romantic sense, which is pretty much his only reason for interacting with women most of the time. I guess he'll just have to start spending more time with his actual girlfriend, Brooke. He's just lucky she's been completely ignorant of his piggish, unfaithful behavior. At any rate, Doris and Steve are back together again, so I guess all this disaster has a happy ending after all (except for Parrot Jackson, of course).

Doris: "I'm so glad you're not a skunk-sprayed zombie anymore!"

I think we've spent enough time with the Jacksons for now. Time to let them have a little privacy as they recover from the disaster that has been their life recently. Coming up next...has Kevin Wilson finally gone too far? Well, drop by next time and find out!

Death and Disaster: Part II

Hey, gang...welcome back to our unusually morbid and disastrous series of posts here at MonkeeSims! For the past couple entries, we've been following the deterioration of the Jackson family, and things got pretty bad last time. I think the worst of it was probably when Parrot Jackson died, and the family left him hanging upside down on his perch so he would always be remembered. Well, it gets worse.

The only one who hasn't really suffered as a result of the Jackson family dysfunction is Chester, though he has gotten the short end of the stick attention wise. When we rejoin the family, we find him preparing to engage the evil El Bandito, who apparently escaped his enclosure at Clint Cartwright's place to invade the Jackson's property.

Chester: "You feel lucky, punk? Well...do ya'?"

I laughed as the pair had it out in a vicious free for all, and I snapped a lot of pics of the battle, but I couldn't justify having a series of dumb "Chester vs. El Bandito" shots for which I wouldn't have been able to come up with original captions anyway. Instead, I just kept one of Chester kicking dust on El Bandito after the fight was over, which also made me laugh. Chester didn't seem quite so amused.

Chester: "Next time I'm gonna' bury you, fool!"

Back in the house, Leon was playing with the chemistry set, mixing up some of that nasty green potion that Kevin Wilson seemed to hate so much. Come to think of it, I never actually saw Steve mix the green potion that appeared in that post, so maybe it was Leon's doing. Whatever the case, he was mixing up another batch of it for reasons unknown. If you want to assume the worst of Leon, you might think he was...no...I don't want to go there. It's just too devious.

Leon: "I'd sure hate it if Steve drank this potion and forgot about Doris for a while..."

Well, believe it or not, Steve did wander into the rec room and notice the potion sitting and the table, and sure enough, he chugged it right down. You would think that with all the time Steve spends with the chemistry set, he would learn to recognize the good potions from the bad, but you'd be wrong if did think so. The results were pretty much what you'd expect, and Steve became grouchier and crankier than ever.

Steve: "What the...suddenly, I feel grouchier and crankier than ever...!"

In his current bad mood, Steve seemed to be having a hard time figuring out which need to address first. He kept complaining about stuff, and I kept ignoring him, because hey...that's what I have "free will" turned on for. He did manage to figure out how to go to the bathroom just in time to avoid peeing the floor, but that was about it. After that, he stood in the kitchen and complained about being hungry, but Doris was hogging the fridge, so there was no relief to be found there.

Steve: "What's a guy got to do to get a friggin' burger around here?"

Steve headed out back to the barbecue he'd purchased with the money from the TV the genie had given him. He started grilling up some burgers, but he managed to overlook two important things. The first is that he has absolutely no cooking skills. The second is that the barbecue was situated right next to the train set the genie had given Leon way back when. When those two factors were combined, the results were disastrous...especially for the really tiny people living in the train set!

Steve: "Looks like I got the burgers off there just in time!"

Well, before Steve could even sit down to eat his chow, the fire spread from the train set to the barbecue grill. Steve wasn't about to let the one thing in the house that was truly his go up in smoke, and so he made a brave (or foolish) effort to extinguish the flames surrounding the grill. It was a nice try, but all he really managed to do was catch himself on fire as well. Meanwhile, "Moon Dawg" stood amidst the flames, apparently oblivious to the danger all around him.

Kareem: "Hey, mon...you need a little help there...?"

Doris was making a valiant attempt at putting out the fire on the grill, and it seemed to be working. At this point, someone thought to call the fire department, which was a bit overdue, but who am I to judge? As determined as she was to save the barbecue grill, Doris managed to totally forget (or not notice in the first place) that Steve was in peril, and by then, it was too late. Steve was little more than a flaming ball sitting in front of the barbecue. It's lucky for him I have the expansions now, or he'd have been nothing but an urn a long time ago.

Doris: "Hey, Steve...I saved the barbecue grill! Steve...?"

It wasn't long before the grim reaper showed up on the property, coming to claim what was left of Steve. Chester was playing around with some other dog who had wandered into the yard, and gave no notice to the mysterious skeletal figure. He chases the paper girl and barks at friendly visitors, but doesn't give a darn about a creepy hooded skeleton walking around on the property. Now there's a well trained dog for you...

Reaper: "Just look at this house...I'll be doing this guy a favor..."

For a moment, it looked like the reaper would be taking Steve without a fight. Seeing as how he's been at odds with most of his house mates lately, it seemed like having Steve out of the picture would solve a lot of problems. However, at the last minute, Doris decided she had to do something, and rushed in to plead for Steve's life. Something about seeing Steve reduced to a pathetic smoldering heap must have caused something inside her to snap, and she realized she couldn't be without him.

Doris: "Please don't take Steve! Take these burgers instead!"

After all that's happened, here at the end, perhaps the love between Doris and Steve still has a chance, assuming the reaper doesn't take Steve. First Parrot Jackson, and now this! Will the reaper decide to spare Steve's life? Will anyone besides Doris care if he doesn't? Will the Jacksons lose the hot tub they can barely afford to replace? Will things get worse from here, or finally start getting better? Well, answers to all of those questions will just have to wait until our next installment, "Death and Disaster: Part III". Don't miss it!

Death and Disaster: Part I

Hey, gang! Good to have you back again. Hope you weren't tossing and turning all night long in anticipation of this post (I wasn't either). It's been a long time since the crap really hit the fan in the MonkeeSims neighborhood, though that should be considered a good thing. Most of the neighborhood residents have gotten pretty lucky, especially since I usually just let things run their natural course and don't ever instigate or prevent disasters from happening (the Bozo posts were an exception, of course). Well, that's all about to come to an end for the Jacksons.

If you've read the last two posts, you already know that things are starting to fall apart within the Jackson family. A love triangle has begun to form between Steve, Doris, and Leon, the family members have begun to dislike one another because of stupid stuff, and the family tried to poison Kevin Wilson when he dropped by for a visit (okay, so that part was an accident). Does it get any worse? You bet! Read on!

Doris apparently decided that there was no point in hiding her overwhelming attraction to Leon, and she started spending lots and lots of time with him. Considering both Steve and Leon originally gained her affection through the use of potions, it's hard to feel too sorry for Steve, but she is his wife, and that does have to suck. Seeing as how Steve is kind of a pansy, there was only one way he could think of to vent his frustration at Leon for trying to steal his woman - turning into a monster and trashing the house.

Steve: "Me...angry! Kick...gnome! Graaar!"

Unfortunately, even in monster form, Steve was more or less ineffectual. Very few items around Leon's place were actually breakable, and the only one Leon seemed to really care about was the hot tub, which Steve couldn't touch. Doris and Leon just sat in the hot tub chatting away while poor Steve behaved like a lunatic, driven mad by jealousy. Wow...it's just like a really, really bad soap opera!

Doris: "Just ignore him...he'll go away sooner or later."

Doris and Leon ignoring Steve just caused him to get even more frustrated, and he kept throwing fits all over the house. Poor "Moon Dawg" was trying to sleep off a long day of woodworking when monster Steve barged into the room and started making a big stink. Once again, poor "Moon Dawg", who's just been trying to mind his own business, gets sucked into the mess others have created. It just doesn't pay to be the nice guy.

Kareem: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep, mon...er...monster!"

At this point, a great tragedy struck the family. I had instructed Leon to go feed the parrot (aka Parrot Jackson), and the action was queued, but he'd decided he needed to hit the hot tub first, where he was hanging out with Doris. I heard some ominous music, and the next thing everyone knew, the parrot was dead. This was quite the blow to the family - they had experienced many things since moving into the house, but never the death of a loved one.

Leon: "Sniff...there were so many phrases I still wanted to teach him!"

Everyone knew Parrot Jackson was dead, but for some odd reason, nobody could bring themselves to throw him out. I found it a little odd myself that there was no option to bag him and toss him out front, but I guess the game has its reasons. Whatever the case, the most the family could bring themselves to do was clean up after the dead parrot, which Leon had also failed to do in favor of sitting in the hot tub. Yeah...mopping under the parrot stand...that will help the smell...

Doris: "I know we all miss him, but can't we just throw the @#$% bird away?"

Overall, the tragedy hit everyone pretty hard. For the longest time, they wouldn't stop weeping over that dang parrot. "Moon Dawg" was too depressed to continue his gnome making, and spent a lot of time sleeping instead (when monster Steve wasn't busy waking him up). The obsessed fan wandered around the gnome stand, looking for the famous gnome maker, while Chester peed on it, probably out of disgust at all the attention the dead bird was getting.

Chester: "All that fuss over a stupid dead bird? I'll give you something to be sad about!"

The family was pretty much wiped out, and everyone was heading to bed. As if enough bad stuff hadn't happened already, Doris got in Leon's bed instead of in the two separate beds her and Steve usually sleep in. Wow....she really is a cold, heartless witch when she wants to be. Nothing happened between her and Leon, but I don't think it really matters...the message was clear. Leon was in and Steve was out. Poor Steve...what a loser!

Doris: "That garbage bag isn't still in this bed somewhere, is it?"

"Moon Dawg" was still trying hard to remain neutral throughout all of this, and steering clear of all his house mates was the safest way to do that. Unfortunately, it caused his social need to suffer, not having anyone to talk to. In a desperate attempt at getting some company, "Moon Dawg" played with the chemistry set and made a potion to clone himself. Well, the potion worked, but the clone left almost as soon as he appeared. Poor "Moon Dawg"...not even he wants to hang out with himself. Steve's not the biggest loser around the place anymore.

Clone: "Yo, mon, I'm like, outta' here!"

Seems to me it would have been easier for "Moon Dawg" to just pick up the phone and call someone to visit, but maybe he knows something I don't. Meanwhile, feeling totally abandoned by pretty much everyone, Steve consulted the magic gravy server, hoping the genie would somehow make things right (he should know better by now). Well, the genie didn't offer any earth shaking solutions to Steve's problems, but at least he didn't destroy any relationships or kill Leon's plants this time.

Steve: "That's your cure for my emotional crisis? A big screen TV?"

Steve didn't even have a place to put his new TV, so he was forced to sell it, and he bought a barbecue grill instead (a decision he would later regret). He had to settle for watching Leon's TV on Leon's couch with Doris, who was more or less Leon's girl. That sucks for him...everywhere he looks, he's surrounded by reminders of that skunk, Leon. Steve sat on the opposite end of the couch, as far away as possible from Doris, yet he still looked uncomfortable. He's probably wishing he was anywhere else in the universe at the moment. It's a wonder he doesn't think to pick up the phone and visit somewhere else for a while (that whole phone thing seems to elude both "Moon Dawg" and Steve alike).

Steve: "I should have traded that TV in for a computer...I could have found some friends online!"

Well, Parrot Jackson died, Doris has begun neglecting Steve in favor of Leon, "Moon Dawg" doesn't even want to hang out with himself. This is pretty sad. If you think you've seen the worst of it, though, forget it. Things go from bad to worse in our next post, "Death and Disaster: Part II". Those morbid types out there won't want to miss it...it's guaranteed to make you feel better about your own life! See you then!

Things Start to Get Ugly

Welcome back to another exciting installment of MonkeeSims. I'm too tired today (again) to have much to say about myself, except that I really, really, really need to start getting more sleep. Of course, I didn't drink my usual three cups of coffee this morning, so it's easy to understand why I want to go to sleep right now (if I fall asleep on the keyboard and my face pushes a key and accidentally publishes this post before it's finished, I apologize in advance).

I warned you that things were going to start to get ugly in the Jackson house (and I wasn't referring to the way the residents look). Well, last post was the beginning of that, as Leon betrayed Steve's trust by smooching his wife, Doris, then pretending that nothing happened. Leon may think he can get away with it, but sooner or later, things like that always come back to bite you. Things seemed to be going well for Doris, despite her part in the incident, so well, in fact, that the award presenter came to deliver her first Simmy award.

Steve: "Help! An old newspaper is stuck in my ankle!"

The shock of being awakened suddenly for the award presentation caused Leon to have some sort of nervous breakdown, and he picked up a bag of garbage from somewhere that he refused to set down. He wandered around the house in his pajamas carrying the trash while performing all his usual functions. I know that around the Jackson house, everyone is encouraged to just do their own thing, but that might be taking eccentricity a bit too far...

Leon wanders the house, carrying around his imaginary friend, Trashy.

Ever the curious sort, I took about 30 pictures of Leon doing different stuff while still holding the bag of garbage, including showering, sitting down and eating, sitting in the hot tub, and dancing by the juke box (be glad I'm not posting them all). Eventually, the weight of the garbage sack must have gotten to Leon, and he decided to go back to bed. Everyone was hopeful that he'd wake up a new man...or at least a man who didn't carry a smelly garbage sack with him everywhere he went.

Leon: "Come on, Trashy...it's time to hit the sack..."

I can't help but feel that Leon's little incident of insanity was payback for his fooling around with Steve's girl. Doris didn't exhibit any strange behavior. No, her punishment came in the form of the obsessed fan wandering into the rec room and stealing her Simmy award. If Steve and the gang weren't so cheap these days, they could have bought her some sort of protective enclosure for the award. Oh, well. If I've learned anything from having to live the life of fame through Kitty Wilson, Simmys are only slightly less common than the daily newspapers collecting on the front lawn.

Great...there goes the only non-ugly decoration in the whole rec room...

The weird thing about the whole incident of theft is that most of the family was awake when it took place. For that matter, "Moon Dawg" was sitting on the couch about 20 feet away when it occurred, and made no effort to stop it. We all know "Moon Dawg" is easy going, but that's kind of pushing it. Unfortunately, Doris and Steve took his failure to protect the award personally, which lead to ill feelings toward "Moon Dawg".

Kareem: "Hey, mon, keep it down over there...I'm trying to watch Leno!"

Doris and Steve booted "Moon Dawg" off the couch (aka his bed), figuring he owed them that much at least for losing the Simmy. This, of course, led to "Moon Dawg" disliking them that much more. While everyone was busy disliking one another, Kevin Wilson wandered in, apparently looking for a cheap and fun way to get out of the Wilson house for a bit. As usual, nobody seemed to take notice of just another person wandering around the joint.

Kevin: "Don't mind me, guys...I'm just here for the bubbles!"

While Steve and Doris were busy being mushy on the couch, Leon wandered into the rec room, and was disgusted by the pools of water all over the place. Of course, nobody took responsibility for them, and most people blamed poor Chester for the mess. Luckily, Leon had his Wonder Mop in his pocket, and started to clean things up himself, though this undoubtedly led to some bad feelings toward his house mates for their negligence.

Leon: "Man, this better not really be pee!"

Steve and Doris totally ignored Leon and his mopping, which just made things worse. Steve didn't care, though. He was too busy discussing his future career ambitions with Doris as they watched TV. Wait just a second...Steve has ambitions? Well, it wouldn't kill him to get a job someday, though if you ask him, finding a famous wife who makes lots of money somehow means that he's contributing financially to the family. Sure, it makes no sense, but that's Steve for you.

Steve: "Some day I'm gonna' be a rock star...if I can just whip up a potion to turn me into one!"

Speaking of potions, Steve had finally whipped up a nasty light green one that he refused to drink. Instead, he responsibly left it sitting on the table, knowing full well that his house mates were morons and had a bad habit of drinking his concoctions when he wasn't around. Leon and Kevin were standing over by the chemistry set, having a stimulating discussion...I guess. It looked like the discussion was about Kevin, which is odd, because he's not famous or anything...just egotistical.

Kevin: "No, I really can guess what you're thinking. Let me see...you're thinking of me, right?"

Leon got tired of the guessing game he and Kevin were playing, and decided to go elsewhere to stew about how much he disliked his house mates. Left alone, Kevin noticed the strange potion sitting on the table and decided to down it. I guess since everyone was too busy hating each other, nobody could be bothered to cook anything. Of course, since Kevin had stopped over uninvited, what did he expect?

Kevin: "Over the lips and past the gums..."

Well, Steve's potion really was some nasty stuff. Kevin immediately started complaining about everything, and wandered around like he didn't know what to do. Everyone sort of expected him to leave, but he didn't seem to want to go anywhere for quite some time (not even the bathroom, causing him to pee the floor). I stopped paying attention to him for a bit, and was horrified when I looked out on the front lawn and saw...

Gnome: "Mwahahah! That'll teach ya', punk!"

At first, everyone thought Kevin was dead, but the reaper didn't show up, and they realized he wasn't curled up in a ball like a real dead sim, so they went back to their business. Not to say it wasn't a near death experience, but Kevin did, eventually, get up, brush himself off, and head home in a terribly rotten mood. Kammy can thank the Jacksons later for that.

Well, life has been so kind for the most part up till now. Now everyone is starting to dislike each other over stupid stuff, guests are getting poisoned and attacked by gnomes, and things are just steadily going downhill. Just imagine what will happen when mistrust is thrown into the mix when Doris starts outwardly showing her interest in Leon! Oh, yes, things get ugly in our next post, the first of a three part series. Coming up next..."Death and Disaster: Part I"!

Chemistry and Magic

I'm kind of tired today, but that's mostly my own fault, since I haven't been getting more than four hours of sleep the last few nights. Part of that is because we just borrowed the first season of "Lost", which we've never seen any of because we don't have any TV channels at our house. We've been trying to watch all six four hours DVD's in the limited time we have after work and school, and that usually results in turning in way too late. Oh, well...fun before sleep, I always say.

I promised that things would be heating up soon at MonkeeSims, and so they shall. Today's post is the very beginning of the downhill slide for the Jackson family, which will culminate in a three part post a few days from now. For now, though, let us see how things started to go from peaceful and relatively normal to disastrous and out of control. Sound like fun?

When we first rejoin the family, we find Leon messing around with the magic gravy server again. Hasn't he learned his lesson by now? Well, be glad he hasn't, because then things could get a tad boring and uneventful. Leon seemed to be having issues in the social department, and the genie offered a friendship spell, which backfired of course. As usual, Matt was the poor sucker zapped over to the house in a rotten mood.

Matt: "That does it! Now I'm gonna' kick some butt!"

Well, Leon quickly evaded the butt-kicking by sucking up to Matt, and that was the end of that. Don't think he learned his lesson about messing with the emotions of others, though. No, sir. You see, Steve had mixed up a red love potion, but since he was already in love with Doris, he refused to drink it (awww...how sweet). Well, Leon saw it sitting over on the chemistry table, and no qualms about downing it.

Leon: "This has to work better than that @#$% genie..."

Well, the potion did the trick, and a lady did, in fact, fall madly in love with Leon. Unfortunately, that lady was Steve's wife, Doris, who had been innocently hanging out in the hot tub. Next thing you know, she was dumbstruck with love for Leon. The world of the sims is an unpredictable one to say the least. Sort of makes you thankful for the more dull and boring moments of your own life, eh?

Doris: "That's weird...suddenly I feel dumbstruck with love for Leon!"

Well, at first, it looked like Doris was just going to continue sitting in the hot tub. Moments later, though, I watched in horror as the two were drawn together by forces greater than both of them. Next thing you know, the pair had locked lips over by the chemistry table. Poor Steve! It's bad enough that he has so little luck with the women to begin with, but to have to worry about Leon stealing his wife now is just too cruel!

Leon: "Steve? Steve who? Oh, yeah...right...that Steve! Oh, well..."

Well, Leon may be a ladies man, but he's not a complete heartless scumbag. Once the initial effect of the potion had passed, he decided it would be best if he and Doris took things no further (than being madly in love with one another), and decided there was no reason Steve should find out what happened. Chances are sooner or later Doris would mutter his name in her sleep, but she and Steve sleep in separate beds, so it wouldn't be too much of an issue.

Potion or no potion, Leon was clearly still haunted by a little guilt over what he'd done. He was quick to invite his girlfriend, Brooke, over to the house. Was it to confess what he'd done and ask forgiveness for his unfaithfulness? No, not directly. Actually, Leon just wanted to show her she was still his number one girl, and he did it the best way he knew how - with dueling puppets.

Brooke: "The green monkey? Oh, Leon...you really do love me, don't you?"

Well, there was no harm done between Leon and Brooke, probably because she had no idea what had taken place. Leon decided to minimize the chances that something of the incident might slip out during conversation by doing less talking and a lot of smooching. Luckily for Leon, Brooke was pretty used to that from him, and didn't sense anything suspicious about it. Being a pig has finally paid off for Leon!

Leon: "Well, at least my own relationship is still okay!"

Yep...Leon is kind of a swine. He may have come to terms with what took place, but how will Doris deal with it? Now that she's experienced the "Leon love", will she be able to turn it off just like that? Will she cast Steve aside like yesterday's bag of sim garbage? Will Steve whoop Leon's butt for violating the "friends don't make out with friends' wives" code? Hey, I'm not gonna' tell you now...you'll just have to drop by again another time and find out! :-)

Clint Gets Lucky in Love

Welcome back! This post is going to be one of the longer ones, so I'm not going to waste any time with my personal musings today. Suffice it to say that I got a new toilet, and it's actually installed in the bathroom where it belongs, so all is well in my world.

Previously, we watched Clint fail to successfully woo Claire Charming, then get rejected by Kammy Wilson. Does it get any worse than that? I suppose so, but unfortunately, it won't in this thread. Wait, that's not unfortunate...unless you're some sort of sadistic lunatic. Anyway, as we begin, we find Clint in the kitchen, preparing some food after having invited Claire over to his place. He's learned from what went wrong last time, and everything this time around is calculated to go perfectly...he hopes.

Clint: "Nope, it ain't five alarm chili this time. Is five alarm salad okay?"

Last time, Claire sort of got things off to a rocky start by speaking ill of El Bandito, Clint's pet raccoon. Well, this time, Clint took advantage of her dislike for his coon, and decided to do a little badmouthing of his own, in the hopes of solidifying their relationship through a mutual dislike. A phony mutual dislike, obviously, since he'd have eaten the coon already if he didn't really like him, but you have to admire Clint's logic if nothing else.

Clint: "By golly, I can't stand that no good, dirty, rotten, flea ridden..."

That actually did the trick somewhat...Claire's opinion on El Bandito hadn't changed, and she was all too happy to join in the slanderous raccoon gossip. That didn't last forever, though, as Clint eventually changed the topic, obviously afraid that he couldn't keep on pretending to hate his beloved raccoon forever. The discussion was apparently so intriguing, that the maid dropped the garbage she'd been picking up on the lawn and walked right up behind Clint so she could hear him better.

Clint: "Personally, I think Tombstone is one of the best films ever made...!"

Well, the conversation and everything was going okay, which is all good and fine, but whether or not Clint actually felt "the connection" up to this point is iffy. However, that all changed when Clint suggested that it was time for a sing-along. The pair sat down by the fire, but before he could magically pull his guitar out of nowhere, Claire beat him to it! That was the clincher right there...from that moment on, Clint knew that he and Claire were destined to be together.

Claire: "How about a little 'Kum By Yah'?"

Clint decided to waste no more time with trivial interactions, and began actively flirting instead. Claire looked a little confused at first, like she wasn't quite sure what was going on. I guess last time her and Clint went on a date, he never actually used the flirting option, and it was more or less implied. I don't think there's any risk of Claire missing what's going on this time, though...I don't think...

Claire: "Do I come here often? Uh...what do YOU think?"

Despite the somewhat awkward attempt at flirtatiousness, Clint and Claire fell mutually in love with one another, albeit the pink heart fickle kind of love that doesn't usually mean much. It means something for Clint, though, since this is his first time, and we all know how hard it is to forget our first loves. There's something about a woman who knows how to handle a guitar that really gets his blood pumping.

Clint: "Ma'am, I do believe I'm in love with you...!"

Well, after that point, there was just no stopping the ever growing romance between the pair. Clint was quick to take things to the next level by leading Claire to the back of the cabin for a little slow dancing. This may sound romantic at first, but the fact that Clint's outhouse is behind the cabin might sort of ruin that image for some people. Neither Clint nor Claire seemed to care too much. Now that's true love!

There's something about a little slow dancing next to an outhouse that has a romance all it's own...

Eventually, the couple headed inside, either because it was getting late, or because they finally noticed the latrine right next to them and got a little sick. Whatever the case, Clint was still plugging away with the romantic stuff, determined to win Claire's heart before the sun went down. He was making pretty good progress, too, and before you know it, they'd graduated to having little red heart love for one another. Way to take things slow, Clint!

Claire: "For a lonesome cowpoke, he sure knows how to kiss..."

Next stop was a little romantic moonlight hot tub session. Claire brought her polka-dot bikini Clint bought her on their first date, which was a good sign. Clint, of course, was wearing his full body swimsuit that he's so fond of. Yes, Clint is a far cry from those freaks who like to hop in the tub naked (found mainly at the Wilson house in the MonkeeSims neighborhood), but a little modesty can go a long way...

Claire: "Why didn't you put on a swimsuit instead of getting in in your clothes? Oh, wait...I forgot...that is your swimsuit!"

Well, after a little romancing in the tub, Clint decided it was time to do or die. And so, he dropped to one knee and did the unthinkable - he proposed marriage to Claire. I don't know why that's unthinkable, except when I first introduced Clint to the neighborhood, I sort of saw him as the perpetual loner type, but he apparently had different ideas. Whatever the case, he was apparently infatuated enough with Claire that he was willing to make the proposal at the risk of being rejected and screwing up one of his two friendships. What a daredevil Clint is.

Clint: "Ma'am, you'd make me right happy if you would be Mrs. Cowboy Clint!"

That was it...the two were married right then and there. I guess it just goes to show that sooner or later, the love bug bites us all, and it bites some harder than others. I guess Clint was just really ready for some female touches to his cabin, or someone else to help with the dishes and bills. That, or he was genuinely ready to spend his life with someone else. As much fun as the cynicism is, I suppose we ought to give ol' Clint the benefit of the doubt. He is one of the good ones, after all.

Claire: "I always knew someday I'd wind up marrying a cowboy living in a cabin in the middle of town!"

When all was said and done, Clint got more than a wife out of the deal. Yes, he also got Claire's dog, Luna, added to the family. Funny...she never mentioned a dog. I guess for all the time Clint spent socializing, they never approached the topic of dogs...just Claire's dislike for raccoons. Well, if Clint can have a raccoon, Claire can have a dog...it's just one of those sacrifices you make getting married.

Claire: "Are you sure? I'm positive I mentioned I had a dog before..."

Well, anywho, that's the story of Clint and his successful romantic conquest. The MonkeeSims neighborhood no longer has a Claire Charming, but a Claire Cartwright instead (and a Luna Cartwright too, I guess). Well, Clint won't have to worry about being alone anymore now...ever...for the rest of his life. Just kidding...not trying to make it sound like a death sentence or anything. Dog or no dog, marriage is a wonderful institution (unless you're Kevin, who refuses to propose).

Well, just a few posts from now, we'll be visiting some of the long lost families like the Wilsons and Millers, and witness the creation of a "new" one in the process. There will be birth, death, drama, ambition, and outright madness...you've been warned! For our next post, we'll return to the Jacksons as things slowly but surely begin to heat up at their place...it's gonna' get good! Don't miss it!