The Best of MonkeeSims!

Well, MonkeeSims may be taking a break from updates for a while, but just for fun, I put together a couple of "best of" loops to put on this post, commemorating some of the special (and not so special) events in the lives of the MonkeeSims. I just used one slide from each of the past posts to simplify things, though there were some posts that definitely had more than one I wanted to use. If you haven't viewed loops like these anywhere before, the little "+" and "-" signs speed up and slow down the loops, and clicking on a picture will show you the full size version. Anyway, here you go...enjoy!

Hey, Hey, It's the Millers!

Welcome back, everyone, to what will probably be the last real post here for a while before we undergo a bit of a break (I know it sucks, but that real life stuff has left me no choice). You must admit, we've had a pretty good run here since the beginning of MonkeeSims, and if you haven't appreciated the quality, at very least give me props for quantity...over seventy-five posts in six months. Actually, quantity was never really my goal, and I never let a post that totally sucked make it up on the page. Anyway...

I promised a post of "epic proportions" in this spot, and after reviewing the material, I'm not sure if that definition actually applies or not. Maybe it's not epic, but it should be pretty cool. Hey, why am I wasting your time describing it when the material is right down below this paragraph? I do promise you one thing - no depressing decline of family structure or random pictures of bartender Waylon. No, this post is about none other than another one of Stu's oh, so grand schemes he's so fond of.

When last we were with the Millers, they'd just finished up a long vacation, and things were pretty much back to normal (with the exception of Deana's Jenny Pig she brought home). Normal is not always a good thing. Actually, sometimes it's rather disturbing. Take the picture below, for instance. When I was looking at Bobby sitting in his underwear in the dark watching TV and Peter playing on the computer ignoring the swarm of flies next to the dirty cat box, I first laughed to myself. Well, once I realized how closely this depicted aspects of my own life not too long ago (I no longer own a cat, thankfully), I wasn't laughing anymore, and felt a great sense of empathy for these poor sims. Something had to be done to liven things up, and only Stu could figure out what...


Bobby: "A dirty litter box and TV in the dark...does it get any better than this?"
Well, Stu set about trying to figure out a way to bring the family together...in a constructive way. Stu thought back to when Keri has been trying to learn the electric guitar, and it occurred to him that maybe the family could join together in a constructive, creative project, with him as the center of it all (of course). Well, Stu may not be a total genius, but he does have a fair amount of money, and so, he quickly set about building a stage next to the house, complete with microphone, drums, electric guitar, and veiled backdrop...ooh...suspenseful!

Stu: "Dudes, this is going to be HUGE...I can feel it!"
And so, under the cover of darkness, the family toiled endlessly making arrangements for Stu's big mystery event. Stu employed Peter's carpentry abilities and had him lay down some wood planks for the stage and folding chairs for the seating, while Stu fine tuned the sound system and instruments. Stu must have gotten tired of having extra money, because the entire setup was costing him a pretty penny. In addition to the stage and its equipment, he also bought on outdoor bar and buffet table. Can't have any sort of event without free food and booze, I guess.

Stu: "Bobby, if you wouldn't mind pulling yourself away from drum practice for five seconds, we might actually get this finished!"
Yes, Stu had come up with a grand plan indeed. In case you hadn't figured it out yet, he'd decided to unify the family using their individual musical talents. Stu appointed himself lead singer, put Bobby on the drums, and let Keri handle the electric guitar. Of course, there was no way they could be a proper band wearing their regular day to day clothes (especially since they never change them, and they're probably pretty dirty). Stu decided to consult the wisdom of the "costume" trunk, and see what it decided the band members should wear.

Keri: "Gee...this is nice and revealing...why don't I just go up on stage naked?"
After attempting to dress the part of a rock band (and dressing way too young for their age), the gang started making the final preparations for the "big show." Stu had decided to waste no time, and scheduled the band's opening performance for the day after they started putting things together. Early that morning, anticipation was high, and Stu fortified his courage with a nice round at the bar at 5 in the morning. That's a great idea, guys...spend all night setting things up and practicing so you can be nice and worn out the following day.

Stu: "Orange juice is just no good without a little vodka in it..."
Well, the very next day, the MonkeeSim neighborhood celebrated the opening of the "Stu Miller Band." Peter was placed in charges of "PR", and hit the phones, trying to phone up anyone he could to invite to the show (with little success, I might add). Deana was employed as "manager" for the band, since there wasn't anything else for her to do really (she just had to "manage" to stay out of the way while everyone did their thing). Folks showed up, but as you can see, there was just as much interest in the buffet and booze line as there was in the band itself.

Deana: "I think what I love best about Stu is his incredible modesty..."
The cats kept leaving dead mice on the stage during the show, probably as a message to their owners that they'd developed a bit of a rodent problem (hardly the time or the place to worry about such trivial matters). Maybe the felines were feeling left out since they hadn't been incorporated into the band in any way. Hey, come on...this isn't "Archie" and "The Pussycats." Figuring out a way to incorporate Peter and Deana with their lack of discernable talents was hard enough...forget about the four legged fleabags. While the crowd for the show wasn't huge, overall audience response seemed to be good. Thank goodness for small favors...

Stu: "If one more person says I look like Vanilla Ice, I'm going to karate chop them!"
Peter's job at the show was actually two-fold. There was the PR part, which he pretty much flopped at (when you can't get crowds of people to show up even when there's free food and drinks, I don't know what else to call it but a flop), and then there was the most important part of the whole event, the pyrotechnics. Peter didn't actually have any professional experience in the area, but come on...any idiot can can light a firecracker and send it flying, right? Well, Peter was just the idiot to do it too...

Peter: "Stand by for ignition in five...four...three...two..."
Well, maybe a little professional experience would have gone a long way. Any idiot may be able to light up a firecracker, but making it land somewhere where it won't kill or maim anyone seems to be the real trick. Of course, maybe Peter is jealous of Stu's talent and would like to see him and his band out of the picture. Whatever the case, he almost achieved that when his first rocket landed right on the front of the stage. It's a good thing that objects don't usually catch fire outdoors, or the first performance of the "Stu Miller Band" could very well have been the last when all it's members went up in smoke.

Stu: "What the...hey, Peter! Watch it with those things!"
Stu appeared to be a little rattled by the near miss of Peter's exploding rocket. Luckily, Keri was able to swoop in and save the day with a little bit of a guitar solo while Stu was busy regaining his composure. Folks started going up to the stage and dancing, which is more of a response than Stu's singing was getting (eat your heart out, Stu!) Bet Stu won't be booing Keri's playing anymore after this. Actually, he probably still didn't notice what was going on...from the looks of Stu's pose in this picture, it looks like the shock of Peter's rocket might have caused him a little distress in the bladder area...

Stu: "I wonder if anyone will notice if I pee myself right now..."
Well, in the spirit of proving he just can't seem to do anything right, Peter launched some more rockets in the air, and they kept landing frighteningly close to the stage and the audience. Luckily, the fans were either too impressed by the light show or too stupid to know they were in danger, but they didn't seem to be going anywhere. Stu eventually had enough, and abandoned the stage (probably to head to the can before he really did have an accident). The caterer noticed all the commotion, and headed over to see what the heck was going on.

Peter: "I don't know! We must be getting bombed or something...!"
Peter's effort to scare away Stu (if that is, in fact, what he was trying to do) had met with success, and he was quick to reap the "rewards." He quickly hopped up on the stage and prepared to burst into song. Well, Keri and Bobby, seeing that their fearless leader had abandoned ship, quickly dropped their instruments and took off as well, leaving Peter to go solo. By this time, everyone had pretty much headed over to the food, so nobody seemed to notice the changing of the guard. Sorry, Pete, but don't quit your day...oh, wait...never mind...

Peter: "My...endless love...!"
Peter's little unscheduled performance didn't go totally unnoticed, though nobody admitted to having seen or heard it. However, once he ditched the stage, it became a free-for-all. Mama Hick was quick to grab the mic and give it all she had, which wasn't very much. I guess not everyone is cut out to be famous, or at very least, not as a singer or musician. Wow, that's a shocker...Mama Hick totally looks the part of a famous rock star. I'm surprised the fans failed to see it!

JD: "I'm leavin' before I say something that makes her slap me again!"
Meanwhile, the actual band members had all gone inside to discuss the success (or lack thereof) of the performance. Stu didn't seem terribly positive about the experience, and Keri and Bobby argued with each other as usual. Some lady who had shown up for the performance and actually listened to the band play joined them for a piece of cake and to enthusiastically share her views. Wow...an actual fan! And one who probably won't be rooting through your garbage late at night to boot! (well, you never know, actually...)

Fan: "You were even better than Vanilla Ice!"
Eventually, night fell, and the band had long given up any thoughts of an encore (at least for the day). If you think this caused the guests to start leaving, you're wrong. Most of them hung around like they owned the place, and kept hitting the free food and booze mercilessly. The woman in the black shirt with the white stripe just stood in front of the bar downing one drink after another. Yeesh...if you're going to be a shameless freeloader, you've got to at least try to be a little discreet about it.

Striped Shirt Woman: "The heck with it! I'm just takin' the bottle with me!"
As is so often the case, unfortunately, the woman who'd had one too many decided she'd suddenly developed some musical talent, and headed on up to the microphone. She apparently learned nothing from the Peter Miller and Mama Hick performances. The crowd made no secret of their thoughts on her singing...it was so bad that even Mama Hick left. The caterer was nice enough to stand around the stage for a couple minutes, but he was probably just waiting to ask her not to take bottles from the bar anymore. Oh, well...she'll feel like a fool in the morning...

JD: "I'm leavin' before I say something that makes her slap me too!"
The good part about the final unscheduled performance was that it sent folks running for the hills, and things started to wind down (though if someone had thought to send the caterer home early, that probably would have gone a long ways toward solving things much sooner). Once the crowd was gone and the mess was cleaned up and the stage was broken down, things returned to very much the way they'd been before. Hmmm...maybe the "Stu Miller Band" isn't going to be the overnight success Stu had been hoping for. Guess he's just going to have to stick to his solo singing in Studio Town!

Stu: "But I'm a huge rock star...why do I have to do dishes?"
Well, that's the end of the "Stu Miller Band," at least for the moment anyway. Maybe they'll have to give it another go some time down the road...hopefully with a larger and more attentive crowd. It figures that when the family throws a boring party with no theme or real entertainment, everyone in the neighborhood shows up, but when it's the debut of local rock band, just a bunch of freeloaders make the scene. It just goes to show that the life of a star can be cruel without the right connections (and the manager of Cameron's Lounge doesn't count).

Well, as I said before, I don't have any more post material at the moment, and I know for a fact it will be a bit before I'm able to hit the Sims again, but don't despair. I'm not officially declaring the blog closed to updates...just letting you know that if nothing new is here for a while, that's definitely NOT what it means. Take care, everyone, and thanks for dropping by!

Those Crazy Jacksons

Hey, all. Welcome! You know, it's funny how you can go from one extreme to another. Here, I went for over a week without an update here, and now I'm back to posting (or at least working on posts) every day again. It's all about time management, and if you didn't know already, I'm horrible at it. Oh, well. It's a good thing I don't get paid to do this I guess.

I haven't played the Sims very much lately, simply because I've been stretched too thin (I haven't played much Jedi Academy either, so it's not because of that). I've got a job I work on weekends now separate from my day job, where I've been doing a lot of overtime. What that means is that after this post and the next, I haven't got any more Sims material to post at the moment, so we may be encountering a bit of a break. I know, it kind of sucks, but I'm by no means calling it quits (I may have something a little different in mind for one more post after these next two).

Anyway, last time, we witnessed the complete and utter failure of Leon Jackson and his romantic pursuits. Doris finally fell out of love with him, then Brooke confronted him about their relationship and he failed to deliver the goods, so she pretty much dumped him. All that after his home was magically infested with roaches by the genie. Yes, after so much hardship, Leon found it difficult to get up in the morning, and it's not just because his bedroom looks like something from "Pee-Wee's Playhouse"...

Leon: "...and on top of it all, I'm sinking into the bear skin rug again...!"

After all that had happened, Leon began to realize that the people he needed the most in his life were the ones that had been there all along - especially "Moon Dawg." Argh...that sounds like the "moral of the story" of some after school special or something. Anyway, despite being ignored in favor of chicks and other pursuits for a long time, "Moon Dawg" was all too glad to be friends with Leon again...and not entirely just because he was living under Leon's roof with nowhere else to go.

Leon: "So, I hear there's a 'Flipper' marathon on this afternoon..."

Actually, Leon may own the house, but he's contributed none of the money to the family since they first went broke, so even if he and "Moon Dawg" weren't getting along, I doubt he'd have kicked him out. Yes, those two indeed have something special going on. Anyway, it's been a while since I had something completely random and unrelated to anything in any of those posts, so I thought this would be a good time for it. Here's a picture of a strange sight Doris witnessed during one of her modeling jobs - the floating head and hands of Bartender Waylon.

If you were nothing but a floating head and hands, you'd probably be a big star too...

Well, that was fun, and definitely unrelated. Back home, Doris was adapting well to her newly realized dislike for Leon, and things were pretty much back to where they'd been when she'd first married Steve (she didn't care about him much then either). More than ever, Steve had become the household stud, since he was the only one who officially had a woman. Wow...I never saw that one coming when I first created the family, but life is kooky that way. Below, we see the family entertaining Claire Cartwright, who seems more amused by the discussion taking place than Leon does...

Leon: "What do you mean, 'Leon's a lousy kisser?' Do guests really have to hear about stuff like that?

Yes, all things considered, things were basically back to where they'd been originally, with the addition of Doris to the family. Leon was back to having horrible decorating taste and no lasting romantic relationships, "Moon Dawg" made gnomes and unclogged the toilet when needed, and Steve fooled around with the chemistry set, but seemed to be stuck making only blue potions. Eventually, people started calling the house offering children for adoption. Only in the sim world would an agency call up random houses without screening the people or paying a visit first, and the Jackson family is a perfect example of why they do do that in real life.

Kareem: "A baby? Uh, I think you've got a wrong number, mon..."

Doris was still contributing to the family just as she had done when she first joined, only a little bit more vigorously. Once you have to stay at the Jackson house all the time, you begin to realize that it's a nice place to visit, but not such an exciting place to live. Doris began to extend her visits to Studio Town beyond however long it took her to make money, and she eventually started to get burned out. She began coming home and passing out on the floor before she could make it to bed. Now, I'm no famous model, but I'm pretty sure that sleeping on an uncomfortable floor for four hours a night before waking up from the dog drooling on you doesn't count as beauty sleep.

So close, and yet so far away...

Steve was actually dealing pretty well with having a workaholic wife. It's not surprising, since her working extra hard didn't mean that he had to. Leon was still doing most of the cooking, "Moon Dawg" was still paying the bills with his gnome craft, and Steve had all the time in the world to sit in the hot tub by himself and watch the world go by. Poor Steve...having to lounge around all by his lonesome. He wasn't alone forever, though, because Claire Cartwright started visiting from time to time, and was all too happy to use a hot tub that didn't look like a giant barrel full of water.

Claire: "How do you like my itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny white polka-dot bikini?"

Steve's only other interest, as usual, was his stupid chemistry set. He never was too big on using the genie lamp, but with it having been disposed of, it wasn't an option anyway. Steve set about tinkering with his test tubes again, even though he'd seen every possible kind of disaster the chemistry set was capable of causing. Well, he'd forgotten about one kind, the set itself exploding. Last time, the family was quick to have it repaired, but this time, even "Moon Dawg" with his maxed out mechanical skills refused to fix it. No genie plus no chemistry set equals no disasters besides the ones the family members cause themselves. Oh, the horrors!

Steve: "No chemistry set again?! Oh, man...my life really sucks now!"

Have we seen the end of the run of bad luck brought on by the Jacksons and their use of the genie and magic potions? Well, it sure looks like it, but you can never be sure. For their sake, it's probably a good thing. We may have to investigate further down the road how a life without either item goes for the family, but that's it for now. Next up, though, we revisit the Millers once again. Our first MonkeeSims posts covered one of Stu's grand schemes, and next up, it's his biggest one yet! Well, big for the Miller family, anyway. You'll just have to judge yourself where it fits on the size scale. Drop by next time for a bang-up extra long post here at MonkeeSims!

Leon Loses in Love

Welcome back, everyone. Well, I've had some kind of stomach flu-like thing for the past week, and it's anything but pleasant. This is probably one time when it's better that I post less about my own personal experiences and more Sims stuff, because there's not much good to say about it. Almost fell asleep at my PC a bit ago, which may not sound like a bad thing, but I'm at work, so that is kind of bad. Anyway...

Blogger is being really wonky lately, and sometimes won't publish my posts, sometimes double publishes them, and sometimes just plain irks me off. I was trying to delete some duplicates of yesterday's post, and it said that I had one fewer post total than I thought I should, so if anyone notices one missing from the archives, let me know (I didn't notice any obvious omissions, so nobody else probably will either).

You all remember the Jacksons, right? Surely...after all, their family has been the focus of some of the more disastrous experiences on MonkeeSims (with the exception of the Curse of Bozo series). In case you've forgotten, when last we saw them, Leon, Steve, and Doris Jackson were involved in a love triangle that resulted in a lot of hard feelings and ended with the death of Steve in a barbecue fire (he came back later, obviously). As we revisit the family, we find that Leon has given up hitting on Doris or causing problems with the genie lamp for now, and bought a guinea pig to amuse himself instead.

Leon: "Careful...you bite me, and we're having guinea pig stew for dinner!"

Well, that didn't last long. Leon found that while guinea pigs may look like balls of furry fun at first glance, in the end, all that playing with them does is make your hands stink and get fur on your clothes. If you ask me, the guinea pig was just a rebound pet after the death of Parrot Jackson anyway. Leon's a weakling, and next thing you know, he was right back to the lamp, hoping for a quick fix for his problems. Has he learned nothing from almost every previous experience with the genie?

Genie: "That's for interrupting my beauty sleep...!"

I'm starting to think that the genie's "backfired" spell excuse is just a bunch of crap. I know the odds of a spell going bad are supposed to be higher than the odds of things going good, but the Jacksons have absolutely no luck when it comes to the genie. This time was no exception, and the genie's spell infested the rec room with roaches. I suppose it could have been worse. Nothing caught on fire, and there were no ruined relationships as a result of the spell. Of course, experience tells us that the Jacksons don't need magic to accomplish either of those things...

Leon: "Great! Just what I needed...more pets!"

Leon thought about just leaving the roaches and going about his business, but then he decided he was bored anyway, and started spraying them. Meanwhile, out back, Steve was cooking up some burgers on his grill that had miraculously survived the horrific blaze in the last Jackson posts. You got to hand it to Steve...most people would probably hesitate to start doing something again that had recently killed them, but Steve must just be a brave sort. Either that, he just assumes if he dies again in a grill fire that he'll just come back again. Never assume anything, Steve...

Steve: "I can't believe nobody saved me a burger after I died last time!"

Meanwhile, Leon had STILL not learned his lesson. As soon as possible, he was right back at the genie lamp, bugging the poor purple guy (of course, the genie had just recently "bugged" him, so it's only fair). Leon is lucky that there's that clause in the genie code that says that they can't strike annoying people dead on the spot. Actually, maybe Leon is some sort of self-hating lunatic, and just wants bad stuff to happen to him. If that's the case, he's never disappointed. Whatever the case, Leon made one last desperate plea to the genie to change his fortunes for him.

Leon: "Come on, man...help a brother out!"

Well, the genie decided to take the opportunity to use his magic for good, but not in a way that Leon would appreciate. No, he decided it was high time he "undid" the damage that Steve's love potion had done earlier, and made Doris fall out of love with Leon. Of course, this only solves half the problem, since it left Leon still madly in love with Doris, but it certainly wasn't the first time Leon had the hots for someone who didn't care about him, so it worked out pretty well. Love in the sim world is such a crazy and unpredictable thing.

Doris: "Yawn...that Leon is such a dirty rotten pig who I'm not at all in love with..."

That was it. Leon finally decided he'd had enough of the stupid genie, and sold the lamp for a few bucks he could use later to buy a pizza or something. Doris, however, freed from her potion induced obsession with Leon, was able to focus more fully on her career, and enjoyed great success as a model. She even managed to get a bronze figure award for her efforts, which she was forced to display on the bedroom floor due to lack of counter space to place it on (despite the new empty spot where the genie lamp had been).

Doris: "Somehow, it's just doesn't feel like a place of honor for an award."

Leon was all too aware of the fact that Doris was no longer interested in him, and although he had promised to back off, there was no denying it was a painful blow. Leon decided he needed to reestablish his manhood by calling up his actual girlfriend, Brooke, and showing that he still had what it took to sweep the ladies off their feet. Well, Brooke told Leon when he called that she was having a party, and asked if she could bring her guests with her. Well, Leon said yes, but when she showed up, there was only one person with her, and not a particularly fun looking person for that matter.

Leon: "Er...I think it takes more than one host and one guest to qualify as a 'party'..."

Leon and Brooke got to talking (the guest she brought was completely ignored by all the family members), and she found out about the little fling he and Doris had had before the genie intervened. She took it surprisingly well...sort of. Actually, since she didn't have access to any abusive interactions to use on Leon, she took it out on the gnomes "Moon Dawg" had been working on. There were quite a few gnomes there, and the resulting chain reaction was huge. So much so that Brooke was continuously tossed on her butt, which I don't think improved her mood much...

Gnome: "Hey, lady...leave us outta' this! Leon's the pig around here!"

Well, fortunately, ladies men excel in three main areas - wooing the women, getting in trouble, and squirming out of trouble. Leon wasn't so great at the first, but he was a pro at the second two. Seeing that he'd made a mess of things with his foolish honesty, Leon quickly swooped in to make everything better. It didn't hurt that a lot of Brooke's frustration had already been spent on the gnomes. As usual, words could not express properly how Leon wanted to make things right again, so he didn't bother with any...what a shmuck.

Leon: "A little sugar always makes everything better..."

Well, Leon may have thought that everything was okay from there, but he was about to find himself in a very uncomfortable situation. You see, given all the drama their relationship had experienced thus far, Brooke was very interested to know where the relationship was going (besides down the toilet). Leon would have been very interested in turning around and running like heck when she started asking that question, but he was too late...he had no choice but to give her some kind of answer, or suffer the consequences...

Brooke: "What do you mean, 'I think you're fine, babe'? Do you love me, or don't you?"

That was it for that. Brooke decided she was tired of wasting her time waiting for Leon to figure out what he was doing, and so, Leon was once again completely single. Wow...I almost feel sorry for Leon, though he brought most of this on himself, so I don't feel too sorry for him. It's doubtful that if he and Brooke stayed together for the long haul that she would get too much out of it. Coming up next, we'll watch (and laugh) as the Jacksons slide further down the slope of dysfunction, followed by a post of epic proportions with another family. Be there!

The Great Outdoors: Part 3

Well, it didn't take quite as long this time for me to post again, though I'm basing that statement on when I am actually starting to write this post, not when it's finished (sometimes there's a gap of a day or two, sometimes it's done within the same day). Being a writer at heart, I didn't realize how I'd missed doing the "commentary" for these posts until I'd taken a break from it for a while. Anyway, on to the good stuff...

It's time for the final installment of the Miller vacation, something that some of you are probably really looking forward to (not the third installment so much as the vacation posts being over). The Millers have done the forest and the snow resorts, so all that remains is the beach, of course. And so, having had more than enough snow, the family piled into the vacation cruiser, and was whisked away to the beach. As usual, they were overdressed for the environment.

Peter: "If we just stand here dressed like this, I'll bet we can sweat off a few pounds!"
Yes, the Millers are geniuses, the whole lot of them. Eventually, by nightfall, they'd figured out that the prudent thing to do would be to change into fewer clothes and get out of the direct sunlight for a bit (since they were all behaving like they'd spent way too much time in the sun to begin with). As usual, the gang was attracted to things that they could have done at home for free, in this case the hot tub. However, the resort staff were smart enough to incorporate a model that actually accommodated more than two people, which would have been a handy thing for the family to own back home, having five hot tub crazy adults and all.

Peter: "Well, I'll be! A four person hot tub...what will they think of next?"
It looked like the entire beach visit was going to consist of lounging in the hot tub, and I was getting a little bored watching the family sitting there chatting, but it didn't last. Deana eventually got out, and some older fella noticed the empty spot, lost the shorts, and hopped in. In an instant, everyone was scrambling to get out like their lives depended on it or something. I'll say one thing, the Millers may be kind of rude sometimes, but at least they're not subtle about it. The old fella didn't seem to have taken much of a liking to Stu, though.

Stu: "If you don't want to talk about body building, then I'm getting out of here!"
About this time, somebody noticed that there was a boatload of other stuff to do at the resort, including a huge selection of carnival games for the family to spend lots of money on. Well, it just wouldn't be a vacation if the family didn't come back broke, and so, everyone set off to do their part toward that end. Stu and Keri headed over to the hammer and bell game so they could test their strength...competitively, of course. I guess Stu gets his yayas from asserting dominance over females in tests of strength or something. Yes, Stu's a real gentleman, all right...

Stu: "Mwahahah! You hit like a girl!"
Seeing as how the easiest way to win at something is not to compete against anyone else, Bobby enjoyed the clown shooting game all by himself. More than likely, since the game involved skill and not strength, Bobby was just afraid that Deana would show him up and make him look bad. I guess that whole alien abduction incident didn't do anything to boost Bobby's clown shooting skills. Whatever the case, half the time he couldn't get his gun to shoot all the way to the clown, and couldn't even win against himself. What a loser.

Bobby: "You feel lucky? Well, do ya', clown?"
Deana wasn't at all interested in squirting at Bozo. No, she was having way too much fun with a game that involved the skill of flinging chickens into a great big pot. She wasn't afraid to test her skills competitively, either, as she allowed Keri to play against her. In the end, it was Deana who kept coming out on top as the undisputed chicken champ. I'm not sure how she developed such a skill, but I guess we all have hidden talents. Whatever the case, she was the only one really getting their money's worth back in tickets for the games she was playing.

Deana: "If only cooking were this much fun, I might actually do it!"
Yes, I was really rooting for at least one of the Millers to earn enough tickets to actually redeem them for something, though it wasn't looking promising. Deana was way in the lead, though she just stuck with the chickens the whole time. The rest of the family kept switching games, and they seemed to suck equally at all of them. Stu may have beaten Keri at the hammer game when they played together, but when he played by himself, he could barely get the bell off the ground. Eventually, he and Bobby found their calling at the "Whack-a-Will" game, though they still wasted a lot more money than they got tickets from it.

Bobby: "I may not be able to shoot straight, but I can sure as heck whack nerd heads with a club!"
Eventually, most of the gang grew tired of the carnival games, and decided to move on to other things. Stu was one of the smart ones, and decided to take a dip in the pool, since that was something else he couldn't do at home (and since there was no way to swim in the actual ocean, even at the beach). Stu wasn't alone, though. His old buddy, the obsessed fan, decided to jump in fully clothed as well and keep Stu company. It's night time, there are no lights at the pool, and there's an obsessed stalker swimming around in it...now that sounds like a fun swim!

Stu: "Alright, dude...this time you've gone too far!"
Soon, morning had arrived, and nobody had had a wink of sleep all night long. For some reason, nobody was really tired, probably because of the screwed up sleep schedule they'd developed at the snow resort. After tossing chickens in pots all night long, Deana managed to save up enough tickets to get something from the prize counter. Luckily, she had enough to afford better stuff than the crappy coconut monkey or skull or baby doll (which the Wilsons have like a jillion of at their house).

Deana: "Yes! Jenny Pig! At last, my life is complete!"
Well, rather than stick around another day, especially with everyone so sleep deprived, the gang grabbed a bite to eat, and got ready to head out. Actually, most of them grabbed a bite to eat...Peter headed upstairs and proceeded to order several drinks in a row at the bar (I guess that's something special since, unlike the Wilsons, the Millers don't have a bar at their house). While he was up there, I spotted my favorite non-neighborhood vacationer, Knut Sartre. Knut used to confound me time after time when I'd send the Wilsons on vacation and see him in the hot tub, thinking it was Kevin, then have Kammy try to get friendly with him with disastrous results. Of course, the resemblance only goes from the neck up...

Knut: "Eh? I look like Kevin who??"
Well, eventually, the family returned back home for some much needed rest and relaxation (isn't that what going on vacation is for?), and a chance to finally get out of the post spotlight for a little while. Since hardly anybody brought back any souvenirs, nobody did that annoying thing they do where they all run everywhere they go when they got home. Deana did have her Jenny Pig to display, and display it she did, right by the front door. There goes the only logical place in the house to set the bills when they arrive.

Deana: "Your job will be to greet people as they come in..."
Well, that wraps up our fun and games with the Miller family for now. Time to give them a bit of a break again. Coming up next - Leon Jackson may have agreed to stop hitting on Doris, but what about their undeniable attraction to one another? Will Brooke beat Leon's arse for pining for another woman while they're "dating"? Will the family ever learn their lesson about fooling around with the magic lamp and chemistry set? There's only one way to find out, and you know what it is!

The Great Outdoors: Part 2

Hey, folks. Welcome back! It's no secret it's been a while since I posted here. It's not because I've abandoned this blog for good, I've just got a lot going on elsewhere. Truthfully, I haven't played the Sims all that much lately, but I do still have a bunch of stuff I haven't posted yet that I could have if I'd just gotten around to it. Yeah, being busy will do that to you. I've never been great at setting priorities.

Though the Sims has been one of my big interests for quite a while, my main hobby related interest is in Star Wars, and has been since I was a child. For a while, when I first started playing the Sims, I even had SW related characters living in the neighborhood. Han and Leia lived in a cheap but huge "L" shaped motel, and Luke was married to Britney Spears, and he fathered many ugly children.

The point of all that is that I recently started playing "Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy", which is one of the greatest games I've ever played, and is highly addictive. Most of my PC time I'd usually be spending playing the Sims has gone to JK:JA, and a fair amount of the time I'd have spent updating the blog has gone to learning lightsaber techniques and stuff like that. I know it sucks to have to trade one for the other, but when you've got limited free time like I do, that's just the way it goes.

Anyway, last time, we followed the Millers on the beginning of a long awaited vacation they were taking, and they headed off to the wooded areas first. Like everywhere else, the woods got boring eventually, and the gang decided it was time to pack it up and head elsewhere. The bugs must have been bothering the family, because they decided to head off to a snow resort next. I know it was their first time there, but they were a little ill-prepared when they first arrived.

Deana: "Brrrr! Nobody told me it was gonna' be cold at this snow place!"

Before too long, the gang figured out they needed to change into some warmer clothes, and then the fun began. Most of the gang went to check out the outdoor attractions, but Stu had different ideas. He made it no further than the entry area of the resort lodge, then plopped down on the bearskin rug with Keri for a little wine and fireside romance. Yes, there's something about sitting right smack dab in the middle of the reception area that is indeed very romantic.

Stu: "You know what would go great with this wine? Some pizza!"

Well, the fireplace and the wine were indeed fuelling the romantic mood, and it wasn't long before Stu and Keri started to do a little smooching. Well, maybe the mood was a little too romantic, because the smooching evolved into Stu tackling Keri and the couple rolling around on the floor right in front of the reception desk. I know the Millers don't all get out in public very often, but Stu and Keri do, and you'd think they would have a little more of a sense of decency. Or maybe they do and they just don't care. Those naughty, naughty sims...

Receptionist: "Hey, you guys...get a room! Seriously...you haven't checked in yet!"

While Stu and Keri were busy violating social etiquette norms, Peter was outside putting his snowboarding skills to the test. Snowboarding skills? Must be something he learned in a former life, or at least before our depiction of the Miller family first began, because I've certainly never seen him practice this before, or do much of anything athletic for that matter. First he displays his keen hidden archery skills, now he burns up the slopes on a snowboard. Ah, so much about Peter is a mystery - a mystery we have yet to care about solving.

Peter: "Mwah! Help! My hand is stuck to my boot!"

The best part about going on vacation for the sims, aside from getting away from their boring or overcrowded homes, is the costumed entertainers. Well, maybe it's not really the best part for them, but I sure get a kick out of watching the entertainers annoy them. Betty the Yeti, everyone's favorite frostbitten fleabag , was there to liven things up, and since there were no children present, the adults took the brunt of the "entertainment," as Betty danced about in the dining area.

Bobby: "I dunno about you, but I just can't look at that yeti and eat at the same time..."

Despite her persistence, everyone did an admirable job of ignoring Betty (it was pretty easy, since her actual interaction powers only work on children, and the Millers are all "adults"). Poor Betty! Actually, there wasn't too much reason to feel sorry for her, because she seemed to be having a pretty good time still. Once everyone was starting to head to bed, I witnessed an odd occurrence, as Betty headed into the game room, turned on the juke box, and discoed the night away. Ah, the things people miss when they waste time sleeping...

Moose Head: "Go, Betty, go! That's it...shake it, don't break it!"

That wasn't the only weird thing going on at the resort. When everyone else was all tuckered out, Stu and Bobby headed out to the hot tub for a little late night dip. I know the hot tub is supposed to be hot and all, but you couldn't convince me to go risk exposure sitting in one in the middle of the night at a snowy resort. At least not for the privilege of hanging with Stu or Bobby, but they seemed to be enjoying it. Of course, they weren't the only ones. The obsessed fan seemed to be enjoying it too...maybe a little too much.

Bobby: "What the...? That guy has got some serious, serious issues!"

Everyone was pretty wiped out by the time evening rolled around, and I couldn't figure out why nobody was going to bed at first. Well, it was then that I realized it had been Stu's job to check the family in, and he had gotten distracted with that whole indecent bear rug incident. About the time folks would have been passing out in the snow, I realized his oversight, and quickly corrected it. Everyone pretty much jumped into whatever bed was open, and quickly conked out. Of course, poor Peter happened to pick a bed in a room where the vacation director and one of the maids were busy chatting away in the bathroom.

Peter: "Zzzz...wha...hey...shaddup in there!"

The next day brought new opportunities for fun and frolicking, though most of the Millers missed out on them in the morning because they hadn't gone to bed until obscenely late. I was okay with that, though, because other guests started to arrive, including the suit guy who'd also been at the forest resort, and Sherbet Head, the lady with the crazy orange hair. They hit it off pretty well in the hot tub...a shame that they're both already married (at least I assume that's why they have significant others and children with the same last name they drag everywhere they go).

Suit Guy: "Why am I suddenly craving ice cream?"

Dean and Bobby were among the first to get up, and quickly headed outside to mingle with the newly arrived guests. Their idea of mingling involved pelting their fellow vacationers with snowballs for cheap and easy thrills. All the while, they were busy chatting and disagreeing with one another, which if you ask me, isn't very good teammanship. Come on, guys...this is supposed to be fun! You can squabble and bicker with each other for free back home!

Bobby: "Here we go with you and your boring airplane talk again! Or should I say 'Boeing' airplane talk?"

Peter was back to snowboarding again all by his lonesome, while Stu decided to check out the fantastic snow slide the resort had to offer. He slid down it several times that I saw, apparently extremely amused by the concept of sliding downhill on his arse (I'm sure the seat of his pants was less than amused). Eventually, all the physical activity coupled with his lack of sleep the previous night caught up with him, and I eventually found him lying motionless at the bottom of the slide. Meanwhile, Betty the Yeti stood by unconcerned.

Stu: "Ugh...help...help..."

Stu wasn't quite out for the count yet, though, and Keri came by and drug him over to the little game room where the juke box was. There, they danced their troubles away, while Sherbet Head's husband played video games way too energetically. It's funny how these sims always manage to find things to do that they can do at home after they pay for an expensive vacation. I guess everything is more fun when you don't have to do it at home, though. At least Stu and Keri were spending time together without bickering (hint, hint, Bobby).

Stu: "Ugh...it's hard to do the YMCA in this bulky coat!"

Eventually, it came time to move on to greater things...you can only take so much snow. Of course, you can't travel without eating beforehand, so the family sat down for a quick lunch before the shuttle arrived. Actually, not all of the family sat down for lunch. Okay, just Stu did, but it wasn't his fault that everyone else was preoccupied doing their own thing and had no interest in eating with him. At least he wasn't entirely alone, though...

Stu: "Well, obsessed fan, at least we still have each other!"

Well, as you may have guessed, we've reached the end of part two of the Miller vacation. As you also might have guessed, there's one more yet to come, and I bet you'll never guess where it will take place! Okay, so you may know where, but I'm sure you don't know when! We are approaching another slow time in the life of the MonkeeSims, but not without a few more action packed posts beforehand. See you next time with more lunacy!